Music in the Backyard (1): A.J. Roach Trio

A.J. Roach - Finally getting some airplay now if we can get him more exposure here in the states!

Acquaintances

I think we’ve all been in this position before: You recently met someone, a co-worker/classmate/friend of a friend/random acquaintance, and you are at that awkward period…you know what I’m talking about right? When you want to kid around but aren’t sure if you might offend them or maybe let something too personal slip out about yourself, like that time back in middle school when you left the gas on in science class and your teacher came in the next day with a wig and drawn in eyebrows. And how much personal information do you let out? (Disclaimer: The following may or may not be true about myself) “I have a girlfriend/boyfriend but please continue to talk to me.” “I am studying to be a teacher but please do not look at me like I just woke up in a trashcan.” “I enjoy the Harry Potter series but please do not categorize me as one of those types.” “I watch the food network in hi-def because regular def doesn’t make my mouth water like it is suppose to, is that weird?” “I can go entire weekends without ever leaving the house but really, I’m a fun person!”

See there is a certain time when all the above could be shared with someone, but it shares a fine line with the time when you should not share this information with a recent acquaintance. For some, writing personal experiences then posting on a blog or myspace allows for a level of detachment…until someone makes a comment and realize that guy/girl you were interested in and/or they were stalking you, actually read it and left a comment that sent you into involuntary spasms before you could finally remove that post from public existence. For ever reason, this sharing of private information or reaching an informal level of coexistence tends not to be an issue between same gendered individuals. At least for guys, whether you want it or not, guys just tend to be more open when they meet another guy, immediately delving into a past conquest, reminiscing about that time they were in Bangkok and spent a night in jail for public exposure but was finally released with a small donation to the station’s commanding officer’s favorite charity – tax write-off was a bonus.

So I propose that in said situations as described in this post, that men and women, when reaching that level of comfort/non-comfort that if we trust our initial instincts that got us to this point, that no matter what personal information surfaces we not hold it against the other…unless of course you find out he/she enjoys a night full of candles, soft music, and minor torture of stray animals, then maybe it might be time to politely decline that invitation to their next party.

Colbert for President of South Carolina

Colbert for President

I am not sure how many of you actually watch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central but it has to be one of the funniest shows on TV. Where Jon Stewart hosts Daily Show and aims at political awareness, calling politicians out their BS (yes, even the dems), Stephen Colbert drifts the fine line of satire. Colbert overtly plays the Regan-loving, right-wing, egomaniac conservative to a mockery. But where his character ends and the man underneath the suit begins is uncertain. And now he is running for president (as both a democrat and republican) in his home state of South Carolina. Colbert’s popularity is limited to viewers of his cable show and the far too brief appearances at White House press corps dinner, the Emmys, and recently, his book tour interviews – each and every time in character.

What better person to make a mockery of the political election system than a person who enters a race exemplifying many of the same characteristics as the current contenders. Straddling the fence to appeal to the center, reaffirming the status as a republican by sucking up to the religious right, self-praise for accomplishments and accolades presented to them by public commissions and/or media publications, playing a character that is rarely representative of the actual person in hopes to appeal to a mass audience, and charisma in front of an audience and/or camera. Oh, and has written a book about America…that’s critical. In fact, Colbert has a leg up on all those other hopefuls…his own half-hour TV time slot, albeit on cable and off-prime hours. Granted Colbert intends to only run in South Carolina and seldom celebrities make even a minor impact on elections (primary or otherwise). Certainly some celebrities have reached national government, heck, even Colbert’s “idol”, Regan, reached the Presidency but this happens most often after years of lower level public service and pandering to the political machine. Now the Colbert Nation is revving up for a push to make a splash in the SC primary. Whether this is to boost his TV show or actually bring attention to the importance of the primary process (or maybe mutually beneficial), Colbert has already received main stream media coverage on his announcement, which in itself was self-scripted. Either way, Colbert’s entrance into the political fray, satirical or not, will bring much needed humor to a field lacking in everything Colbert can bring.

Addiction

Hi, my name is Rick, and I am an addict. I am addicted to addiction. I am a creature of habit and like being addicted to the familiar. Some are addicted to drugs, others to cigarettes or alcohol, or really bad Chinese action films dubbed into English by German bums picked off the street in Dubai. Hey, we all have our place in life. I am addicted to the feeling of comfort that comes with feeding an addiction. I guess that is why my addiction is so prevalent and popular. I have never done drugs, or even smoked a cigarette, but my vices feed the same part of the brain that these other, albeit more harmful, addictions feed. So I thought I would take the time to list my addictions, for what reason, I don’t know, but I’m hoping it will be funny…

…which brings me to my first addiction – humor. I love humor. I love laughing and making people laugh, although the latter is less frequent, so my dream of being a stand-up comic will have to be limited to the scribed form – and even that is up for debate. But come on, who doesn’t enjoy listening to Eddie Murphy’s ‘Raw’, or David Cross, or Dane Cook, endlessly, over and over, until you can do the entire routine to the utter dismay of your significant other. Watching and re-watching Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Office, and Extras along with movies like Anchorman, Ghostbusters, Wedding Crashers, Monty Python, and Spaceballs leaves me in a state of constant bliss (or at least until reality returns). It’s like my brain must be humored to distract it from how unfunny real life can be. Although real life is pretty funny to, when you stop to watch it.

…which brings me to my next addiction – people watching. Not in that creep voyeuristic kind of way, more in the, hey, I’ve got nothing better to do for the next 15 minutes while I wait for the next available representative at any given state government public services office, so I will watch what people are up to. Nowadays it typically involves cell phones and not paying attention to anything. Although this can lead to humorous situations that include: a person, a cell phone, a comment without context or intent, and another really offended person within earshot. Then you have the whole, “no, I’m sorry, I was talking on my cell phone that is surgically attached to may ear that you could see being only seeing this side of my face.” You also have those people who have headphones growing out of their ears to eventually form a music listening device. Often found humming, unresponsive to the spoken word, and oblivious to traffic and other pedestrians. Somehow music has become their language and no other form of communication will get through. But, their love of music must outweigh their concern for personal safety, interpersonal communication, or their ability to hear things.

…which brings me to my next addiction – listening to my iPod. Yes, I will admit, I can be put into the aforementioned category above. So I enjoy putting my life to music as I move about this world. Plus I am addicted to music. Put them both together and all of a sudden life is like a motion picture with a running soundtrack (which I will blog about in the near future). As previous posts have shown, I reflect on life through music and when I have exhausted all other idea - or I’m feeling lazy - what better default topic than music? So when I am walking through campus or the city, David Gray can put it to music “Life in slow motion somehow it don’t seem real,” Josh Ritter can strum you along your way, and Elliott Smith can comfort you on those rainy days. Don’t get me wrong, the sounds of nature are beautiful, but musicians can enhance your visual experience like no other addiction can. It also keeps you from hearing all those idiotic conversations about celebrities or uninformed political debates where kids just argue based on whatever their parents yell at the nightly world news program. And let me tell you, missing out on those kinds of conversations I think has helped me avoid becoming dumber, that happens by other means.

…which brings me to my next addiction – NOT politics. Politics might be the best stupid reality show on TV. You’ve got drama, humor, ridiculous situations, and the best actors money can by. I have a great appreciation for government and the philosophical understanding of the purpose of government, but politicians and talking heads (which have been around as long as government) undermine the entire system. When people complain about the ills of government, it can all be traced back to a political figure or commentator looking out for their own self-interests. When the system is removed from money, stereotypes, and selfishness, then we can maybe, finally, see how a democratic government rightfully services its citizens. People are so fanatical about government and politicians, liberal/conservative, republican/democrat, so much so that neither side will listen to the other, no room for movement, like every single political radical is stuck in an elevator and I’m just waiting for the cables to snap and they all go plummeting 40 floors. Most of the country still categorizes themselves moderates, but it is the radicals that get the wasted airtime, soapboxes, and media attention. And if anyone is wondering why the country is becoming more polarized they simply need to turn on a TV on Sunday morning – which is true on so many different levels. The big three dividers: politics, religion, and football.

…which brings me to my next addiction – no, not religion – sports. As I am sure you have gather, I cannot get enough sports or competitive events. Leaving aside “competitive eating,” almost every other sport offers everything one needs to feed an addiction. Drama (check), fast pace action (check), instant gratification (check), brand new experiences every 3 seconds (check), and uninhibited, full-force, explosive, attention retaining, reach in and pull out your organs excitement (check), you’ve got it all. Do we care that half, if not more, of all professional athletes use performance enhancing medication? Come on, what is more exciting than seeing two inhuman physically shaped men colliding at superhuman speeds and watching every ligament in their knees exploding at once on live TV? Curling not exciting enough for you? Maybe they should institute blow torches or body checking for the sweepers – seriously, is it a sport if there is no defense? Well, I guess pro basketball is still a sport so…

…so I am addicted to addiction, not to one particular addiction but just the feeling of addiction. No drug can really satisfy all my addictive desires, could not even come close. Some say they are addicted to life, others say they are addicted to something I mentioned above. But what more comforting feeling is there then just being addicted to something. Not dependent or needy, but the feeling of satisfaction and familiarity that comes with quenching an addiction. I know that sounds like I’m one sidestep away from full blown alcoholic or drug addict, but this is a different addiction – an addiction to be addicted to addiction.

Heroes

So a popular question to ask someone, a friend or significant other, is the age old question…what power would you want to have if you were a superhero. I always go to my old standby – invisibility. Psychoanalyze all you want, but how cool would it be just to walk around, go wherever you want without being noticed and peek in on people in their truest form. Go ahead, peek in on a celebrity at home, feet propped up on a coffee table watching themselves on Extra, just like we would be doing on any given night. Or check out what is going on at the White House at 2am, probably the president with his feet propped up on a coffee table watching “Lil’ Bush” or trying to make one of those tough decisions, like what to have for his late night snack – pie or nachos? But seriously, which power would you pick?

Thanks to Marvel, DC Comics, the Fantastic Four, Heroes, and X-Men, all the good powers have already been…theorized, if you will. Flying (check), invincibility/regeneration (check), telekinesis (check), ability to create spider-webs (check), screaming loud enough to disorient all within a mile radius (check). I give X-Men the medal for being most creative, but at this point, you almost have to be, all the standard “super” powers have been realized on TV, in comics, and on the big screen. At this point all that is left is to argue endlessly who is a better superhero, Batman, Superman, or The Greatest American Hero – sing it with me, “believe it or not, I’m walking on air, never thought I could be so free…” So where else is there to go? A superhero who can balance that national budget? A extraterrestrial who isn’t out to destroy earth and all its inhabitance but could if it sneezed accidental but came to earth because it was teased at alien high school? A deadbeat dad actually paying child support?

Now imagine a school like the one in X-Men where kids who possess gifted powers learn standard school curriculum but also how to apply their abilities. History will show that no matter how gifted a child might be, putting a group of similar aged adolescents in a boarding school where they are taught the basic knowledge set, they will socialize and act like every other school social system. So some kid who can manipulate fire will always be the “cool” kid, because come on, who really wants to hang out with the kid who can just turn things into cold ice. And seriously, who wouldn’t want a friend who can turn his skin into steel plates, but a girlfriend you can’t even touch you because she’ll suck the life force right out of you? Just like every other school, fights would break out, only in this ‘gifted’ school, some serious mess could go down – although a headmaster that can freeze time and kill anyone just by concentrating hard enough would certainly keep things in line.

Speaking of which, I’m not a big fan of time travel as a superpower. With the exception of “Back to the Future” and “Austin Powers”, time travel or time manipulation just really bugs me. First of all, the whole concept of time travel is even theoretically impossible, on almost every level of science. The consequences…I think I won’t even go into it, I’m sure you get the point. In fictional situations, it brings in far too many questions, and puts holes in every single aspect of the story. The best explanation of time travel in a movie was in the second Austin Powers film, “So, Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and look at my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to the '60s? Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.” Exactly. Somehow it works in comedies, not dramas or action-adventures. So whenever I watch Heroes, I try to suspend disbelief because it isn’t a bad show. Just like life, sometimes we need to suspend disbelief, except everyday heroes, and find our own superpower. But for now, I think I will stick with the old stand by of invisibility because then life would be like one big, unscripted TV show. And what is more humorous than real life?

Average

In baseball, the batting average is the number of times a batter gets a hit divided by the total number of  chances, or at bats. Now there’s a lot more that goes into it besides that, like walks, being hit by a pitch, scratching one's crotch, do not count as an at bats, but I think you get the point. For most players, batting .300 (or 30%) is considered good, maybe even above average. Below .200 is considered bad, the “Mendoza Line.” No one has it over .400 for a season since Ted Williams in 1941. He hit .406, basically he got a hit 4 out of every 10 at bats – meaning he failed to get a hit 6 out of every 10 at bats. And he was considered one of the best hitters of all time. So the average player who, say, bats .250 (25%) fails to get a hit 3 out of every 4 at bats. Granted they are charged with a task of hitting a little white ball 3 inches in diameter coming at them at 80-100 miles per hour, using a long wooden stick, not an easy task mind you.

Well, baseball is a metaphor for life in some many ways, people have written volumes on the topic. A guy ‘strikes out’ when he fails to ‘score’ with a lady. I won’t even go into the whole reaching base references that you are probably already familiar with, even if you are not a baseball fan. To guys, sometimes the bar scene is like “playing the field” of baseball so it is just fitting I think of it as a spectator sport. Now some guys go with the swing away approach. "Can’t get a hit if you leave the bat on your shoulders." Others wait to get the count in their favor, for the uninitiated that means waiting for a time when you can expect a hittable pitch. In this analogy, I guess that would mean waiting for last call or something. Of course we have the doping charges of major league players using performance enhancing substances to ensure better chances of getting hits or even homeruns. I won’t touch that one but I think you can see the correlation. Some prefer to play at their home field, others on the road. Some like the day games but most still play at night. The adventurous ones stick around for the day-night doubleheader or sit through long rain delays. You have pinch hitters who can be called upon in potential scoring situations, but pinch runners are rarely used, only when speed is of the essences. Think of the seventh-inning stretch like that hour or two you do at the karaoke bar before heading into the late innings.

Sometimes life in the relationship world feels like the old Abbott and Costello baseball fielding line-up skit, “Who’s on First?,” – yes. Or better yet, maybe it is like your on opposite teams and the third base coach is giving encrypted singles to his team that you can’t decipher. A relationship should be more like softball, easy to hit pitches, bigger bats and balls, to get better changes at reaching base….and drinking only makes the game more fun. Instead we face the ace of the pitching staff every 5 days, some hot, upstarts the other 4 days, the hall of fame closer during those close games, and a gold glove winning middle infielder who won't let any balls get by them, turning an inning ending double play, and can make those diving stops, throw from your knees strikes to beat you by a half-a-step at first base.

I’ve always considered myself an average guy, maybe the most average you’ll ever meet. Does that mean I will only be considered successful a quarter of the time? Maybe. Of course I consider myself successful by waking up on time in the morning and making it back to bed at some point after dark…so far I’m batting 1.000 in that category. Go me. So what is our definition of average? Do we apply the bell curve to everything in life? Has life gotten so hard that we need to think of it like a 3 inch tightly wound ball covered in leather with some stitches coming at us at 95mph? Do we start testing with a passing rate of 25/100, but make the tests really, really hard?

Well, it is October; the baseball playoffs are on their way. A whole lot of hours of boringness capped with a few minutes of the best excitement of your life…sound familiar? So let the games begin and play ball!