Addiction

Hi, my name is Rick, and I am an addict. I am addicted to addiction. I am a creature of habit and like being addicted to the familiar. Some are addicted to drugs, others to cigarettes or alcohol, or really bad Chinese action films dubbed into English by German bums picked off the street in Dubai. Hey, we all have our place in life. I am addicted to the feeling of comfort that comes with feeding an addiction. I guess that is why my addiction is so prevalent and popular. I have never done drugs, or even smoked a cigarette, but my vices feed the same part of the brain that these other, albeit more harmful, addictions feed. So I thought I would take the time to list my addictions, for what reason, I don’t know, but I’m hoping it will be funny…

…which brings me to my first addiction – humor. I love humor. I love laughing and making people laugh, although the latter is less frequent, so my dream of being a stand-up comic will have to be limited to the scribed form – and even that is up for debate. But come on, who doesn’t enjoy listening to Eddie Murphy’s ‘Raw’, or David Cross, or Dane Cook, endlessly, over and over, until you can do the entire routine to the utter dismay of your significant other. Watching and re-watching Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Office, and Extras along with movies like Anchorman, Ghostbusters, Wedding Crashers, Monty Python, and Spaceballs leaves me in a state of constant bliss (or at least until reality returns). It’s like my brain must be humored to distract it from how unfunny real life can be. Although real life is pretty funny to, when you stop to watch it.

…which brings me to my next addiction – people watching. Not in that creep voyeuristic kind of way, more in the, hey, I’ve got nothing better to do for the next 15 minutes while I wait for the next available representative at any given state government public services office, so I will watch what people are up to. Nowadays it typically involves cell phones and not paying attention to anything. Although this can lead to humorous situations that include: a person, a cell phone, a comment without context or intent, and another really offended person within earshot. Then you have the whole, “no, I’m sorry, I was talking on my cell phone that is surgically attached to may ear that you could see being only seeing this side of my face.” You also have those people who have headphones growing out of their ears to eventually form a music listening device. Often found humming, unresponsive to the spoken word, and oblivious to traffic and other pedestrians. Somehow music has become their language and no other form of communication will get through. But, their love of music must outweigh their concern for personal safety, interpersonal communication, or their ability to hear things.

…which brings me to my next addiction – listening to my iPod. Yes, I will admit, I can be put into the aforementioned category above. So I enjoy putting my life to music as I move about this world. Plus I am addicted to music. Put them both together and all of a sudden life is like a motion picture with a running soundtrack (which I will blog about in the near future). As previous posts have shown, I reflect on life through music and when I have exhausted all other idea - or I’m feeling lazy - what better default topic than music? So when I am walking through campus or the city, David Gray can put it to music “Life in slow motion somehow it don’t seem real,” Josh Ritter can strum you along your way, and Elliott Smith can comfort you on those rainy days. Don’t get me wrong, the sounds of nature are beautiful, but musicians can enhance your visual experience like no other addiction can. It also keeps you from hearing all those idiotic conversations about celebrities or uninformed political debates where kids just argue based on whatever their parents yell at the nightly world news program. And let me tell you, missing out on those kinds of conversations I think has helped me avoid becoming dumber, that happens by other means.

…which brings me to my next addiction – NOT politics. Politics might be the best stupid reality show on TV. You’ve got drama, humor, ridiculous situations, and the best actors money can by. I have a great appreciation for government and the philosophical understanding of the purpose of government, but politicians and talking heads (which have been around as long as government) undermine the entire system. When people complain about the ills of government, it can all be traced back to a political figure or commentator looking out for their own self-interests. When the system is removed from money, stereotypes, and selfishness, then we can maybe, finally, see how a democratic government rightfully services its citizens. People are so fanatical about government and politicians, liberal/conservative, republican/democrat, so much so that neither side will listen to the other, no room for movement, like every single political radical is stuck in an elevator and I’m just waiting for the cables to snap and they all go plummeting 40 floors. Most of the country still categorizes themselves moderates, but it is the radicals that get the wasted airtime, soapboxes, and media attention. And if anyone is wondering why the country is becoming more polarized they simply need to turn on a TV on Sunday morning – which is true on so many different levels. The big three dividers: politics, religion, and football.

…which brings me to my next addiction – no, not religion – sports. As I am sure you have gather, I cannot get enough sports or competitive events. Leaving aside “competitive eating,” almost every other sport offers everything one needs to feed an addiction. Drama (check), fast pace action (check), instant gratification (check), brand new experiences every 3 seconds (check), and uninhibited, full-force, explosive, attention retaining, reach in and pull out your organs excitement (check), you’ve got it all. Do we care that half, if not more, of all professional athletes use performance enhancing medication? Come on, what is more exciting than seeing two inhuman physically shaped men colliding at superhuman speeds and watching every ligament in their knees exploding at once on live TV? Curling not exciting enough for you? Maybe they should institute blow torches or body checking for the sweepers – seriously, is it a sport if there is no defense? Well, I guess pro basketball is still a sport so…

…so I am addicted to addiction, not to one particular addiction but just the feeling of addiction. No drug can really satisfy all my addictive desires, could not even come close. Some say they are addicted to life, others say they are addicted to something I mentioned above. But what more comforting feeling is there then just being addicted to something. Not dependent or needy, but the feeling of satisfaction and familiarity that comes with quenching an addiction. I know that sounds like I’m one sidestep away from full blown alcoholic or drug addict, but this is a different addiction – an addiction to be addicted to addiction.