So where to begin? What topic should a blogger tackle first? Politics? Religion? World Peace? Iraq? The state of the U.S. Educational system? All in good time my friends…no, the first thing I want to discuss (rant) is the very thing I love and hate the most. A device so cunning and devious it sucks out your brain, blinds you vision to nothing but it. A subject that is so addictive and evil the devil hass delayed Armageddon because he’s got to know what will happen on the next episode of “Lost”. The television, TV, the boob tube, the idiot box, the telectroscope (historical reference). This site has some good facts on how effectively the television has taken over the world. 6 hours and 47 minutes is the average time a TV is on in an American household. And consider me guilty as charged…if I actually spent that much time at home not asleep. Being a future educator I find this number disturbing, that and the fact that most children spend about twice as much time watching TV than in school. As long as I can remember, I have had a TV to watch - granted 13” black and white sets aren’t the best to watch afternoon cartoons such as G.I. Joe, Transformers, and M.A.S.K. - I managed to enjoy them just the same. I remember going to buy a Zenith color TV with my Mom, I remember moving the living room (with the TV) from one room to another, quite a shock to a kid who’s hero was Optimus Prime and was the sworn enemy of Cobra Commander, not to mention the evening sitcoms, “Cheers”, the “Cosby Show”, and “Night Court” (oh that Harry Anderson was a funny one, and the magic tricks!), and the hour long dramas, “Greatest American Hero”, “The A-Team”, “Buck Rogers”, “Fantasy Island”, “Dallas” (Mom and her primetime soap operas). Oh, the classics…but that walk down nostalgia lane only shows how covertly the Televisions wooed our senses, brainwashed our thoughts, and made us long to be able to jump over tall fences, talk to really short people in robot costumes, and walk into a bar and have everyone know your name (first sign that you might be an alcoholic – seek treatment). The expansion of Cable TV revolutionized the world of television reality. That old cable box got you the USA Network, MTV, and if you pushed down two of those toggles at the same time, inserted folded paper, you may just get semi-blurred, just able to make out scene from Beverly Hills Cop.
These mechanical beasts of electrodes and resisters have been replaced by their modern and far superior upgrades. LCD, HD, DVDs, ESPNHD, 1020i, like humanized cyborgs infiltrating humankind only to turn and nuke the whole existence, televisions are evolving into our virtual reality. They are predecessors to the control system used by the construct in the Matrix while we are being used as batteries. Ironically we watched that movie on TVs that will be the tools used to keep us incubated in our battery charging beds which will be powering the TVs being watched by the machines harvesting us as batteries to avoid doing work until their weekend comes. Movies will be discussed at another time but you see what I’m getting at here…or maybe you don’t because re-reading that, I totally confused myself. Anyhow, it’s a paradox.
And how do these hypnotic color carriers reel us in? By using pretty people in unrealistic reality shows written to exploit the beautiful, the crazy, and the outright conflicted. TV shows like “American Idol”, “The Block”, Real World/Road Rules Challenge: Survivor: Fiji Island: Escape or Die, all gravitate around the pretty and/or crazy people. And how can we as human beings not watch that? How is it possible to defy our human nature to watch a long, purpled haired - 30 body pierced – 300 pound transvestite sing Lionel Richie’s “Dancing on the Ceiling”? I mean, come on, its like the machines know we have to watch shows like “Cops” and World’s Craziest People Attack Rabid Animals While In a High Speed Chase with Police. They have figured us out and are now taking aim at our very souls. Soon we will be powerless, we well never see the sun-drenched world again. Our eyes will be blind to all but liquid crystal displays and images that change every 2.5 seconds.
I actually went without cable for a year of my adult life, back to rabbit ears, and all that did was get me addicted to broadcast network TV shows. Don’t get me wrong, I certain wish I was lost on a freaky island with Kate, Claire, Shannon, and Libby…but I have a feeling that when the truth is revealed on that show, it will all have been one big giant commercial ad for Honda. And why do you ask, would they cancel great shows like “Arrested Development” and “Firefly”? They are too clever, too funny, and too entertaining that the Television conspiracy would be exposed.
So parents, get your child away from the TV while there is still time. There is no hope for us, the ship is sinking, mankind is in peril and our children are our future (poor, poor, Whitney). Get them outside into the sun-drenched world, expose them to sunlight so that they won’t get burnt every time they have a tee-ball game. Or just get them the Nintendo Wii and maybe they’ll get some exercise that way. At least that’s moving in the right direction….even for us older “kids”. There’s still hope yet…maybe.
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