Lower-left Square

I have this uncanny knack to try and answer questions asked of me as if I were the center square of “Hollywood Squares”….well, maybe more like the lower left square. It is like a bad sitcom with that one guy who’s got the pathetically awful one-liners that doesn’t even make the laugh-track giggle. If a camera was following me around, I doubt my family would even watch. They would use it to torture double-agent, MI-6, double oh, gentlemen spies right after they were told the highly elaborate global take-over plans by an obviously nicknamed villain.

-“Do you expect me to talk?”
-“Noooo, I expect you to die” (evil laugh)

Needless to say, a select few actually find my humor palatable. I’m like a prop comic but all the props are in my head and much of my amusement is lost through written words, or on the public in general.

-“I will take the gentlemen in the lower left corner for the block.”
-“Alright, for the block…72 out of 100 basketball players have said they would like to do this after a dunk?”
-“Take a bite of that coffee-drenched donut” (ha,ha,ah) “Why am I the only one laughing?” “No but seriously, give a teammate a high five.”
-“I disagree.”
-“As you should…it was hang on the rim, you really are a terrible square, sir.”
-“Maybe I should be a circle? Huh? Anyone? Pure comic genius.”

See, let that be an example of what it is like for anyone that is forced to be around me for any period of time. Hilarity ensues, it’s a non-stop 4000 ton comedy train going downhill without any air-breaks (thank you History Channel’s Modern Marvels). And be warned, I have been know to periodically and without notice, jump topics and comic punch lines at the drop of a hat, a hat with a rabbit inside, a killer rabbit that requires the holy hand grenade to subdue. I am the first one to defend randomness as a comic style. Michael Jackson. If you want creative and comic writing, visit the blogger of all bloggers, http://www.dooce.com/. This fiery (pun intended) young women has a unique style and flare for writing, which, if you don’t know the story, got her fired from her job…thus making her a small celebrity within the blogging world. Eventually MS Word is going to add blog into its spell check dictionary. Anyway, if you want visual humor, check out http://www.howitshouldhaveended.com/ where animated ending to epic movies tell us what we all thought should have happened. Stupid Empire. Alright, these sites should make up for the lack of laughter found in this post, maybe balance out my laughs per joke ratio. I’ll take Whoopi in the center square for the win.