Madness

Well, it’s that time of year again: March Madness. The drive for 65. The big dance. It sounds like a really bad high school date.

“Eh, ummmm, hey. I was just wonderin’, umm, if you would like to maybe go to the big dance with me?”
“Oh yes! I would love to! I have been waiting so long for someone to finally ask me to the big dance. All my friends will be there, this will be soooo cool!”

Then once you get there your date goes and hangs out with all their friends giggling at the awkwardly, socially challenged dates that spent all month working on the courage to ask them to the dance in the first place. Then by the end of the night there is that one couple who stuck it out the whole dance. They had been slowly working their way to each other, dancing with different partners through slow songs and fast songs, through waltzes and doing the robot, until finally they nervously take center stage, under the spot light. Their palms are sweaty, footwork shaky, eyes wondering to the onlookers. Eventually one leaves crying and the other taking the crown as king of the dance. But for 64 others, their dance ends in disappointment, standing by the punch bowl wondering what if they had made that move during the White Snake song, or hadn’t sung along with that slow Elton John song with 4 minutes to go. The Cinderella’s of the dance long for the glass slipper only to see it shattered during that Bon Jovi song. Even the ‘cool’ kids fall to the Eric Clapton “Wonderful Tonight” slow dance technique, because everyone can slow dance - you just rock back and forth like zombies until the music stops.

So how is this year’s dance going to play out? With chaperones like Billy Packard and Jim Nantz how can it not be the greatest ever? Seems like every year is just that much better then the last, who knew? We’ve got the seniors: Ohio State, Kansas, UNC, Florida. The Juniors: Maryland, Villanova, Georgetown, Duke, USC, UCLA, all looking to retake the coveted crown. The Bullies: VCU, Pittsburgh, Boston College, Virginia Tech, Texas, Texas A&M, Texas Tech, basically any school from Texas. The Intellectuals: Virginia, Penn, Notre Dame, Vanderbilt. The “do you even go to school here” schools: Corpus “Don’t call me Texas A&M” Christi, Weber “Big Sky” State, Niagara “we are more than the falls”, Miami “no not that Miami” of Ohio, Jackson “capital of Mississippi” State. And least we not forget the exchange students: Marquette, Xavier, Gonzaga. And watch out for those pesky up and coming freshmen: Wright St., Central Connecticut, Long Beach St., Albany.

This year looks like it gonna involve some break-dancing, the Texas two-step, the Virginia swing, new age, and I think I see a ballroom waltzes in there somewhere. Make sure you got your tux, the corsage, the right shoes, your hair done, because starting tomorrow, the big dance madness begins.