Holiday Songs

Holiday Songs

Have you ever stopped to consider what is being sung to us each and every year around this time? As we drive in our cars to go shopping, as we shop in over priced stores, while we pay for those over priced items, while we drive to another store to shop, while we have coffee when taking a break from shopping, and while getting over priced gas to go do more shopping. Well, if you never wondered, here’s what you’ve been missing and what is being taught to your children preparing for those holiday pageants and plays…

Rudolf the Red-nosed Reindeer:
Seriously, this is the song that got me started down this road. I mean, have you listened to this song?? Basically it is telling us it is ok to discriminate against someone or something because it is different…until you have a good use for it. “All of the other reindeer use to laugh and call him names…” because he had a shiny nose, i.e. he was physically different from the others. “Then one foggy Christmas Eve Santa came to say, Rudolph with your nose so bright, won’t you guide our sleigh tonight…” Well, you are now useful so we’ll put you to work. “Then how all the reindeer loved him…”, hey you can actually do something useful, we’ll except you! Don’t worry about us making fun of you before, it’s all good now. I mean, c'mon!

Frosty the Snow Man:
Basically Frosty is about death and unlawfulness. So a snowman comes to life – clearly witchery – then plays with the children? A jolly happy snowman? Hmm..right. “Thumpetty thump thump, look at frosty go.” Second verse, this snowman isn’t without flaws. He will eventually “die” (melt) but before he does, let’s go laugh at the establishment, ignore traffic laws, and swear our vengeance. “Don’t you cry, I’ll be back again some day.” Sounds like a bad horror flick were the villain just keeps coming back in the sequels.

Holly Jolly Christmas
This song is rife with promiscuity and alcoholic beverage promotion. 16 lines of hollies and jollies, cups of cheer, and mistletoe induced kissing. And just say hello to everyone you meet, why not? Invite unnecessary confrontations with random vagrants on the street, yeah, good idea. While you are at it, take them home and kiss them under the mistletoe, real holly and jolly.

I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus
Do I really need to explain this one to you? Adulterous winch. Apparently this song was written in 1952 and I blame all feminist movements of the 60s, 70s, and 80s on this very song.

Jingle Bells
Some songs hide their debauchery in rarely sung verses. Case in point, an innocent sleigh ride turns into a haunting accident, “I went out on the snow and on my back I fell / A gent was riding by in a one-horse open sleigh / He laughed as there I sprawling lie / But quickly drove away.” That’s just wrong, its like driving by a car accident scene and laughing at the bodies that were thrown from the car, who does that?!? Oh, and least I mention what our jolly rider was heading to – “I thought I’d take a ride, and soon Miss Fanny Bright was seated by my side” – and now cut to later that eve – “Go it while you’re young, take the girls tonight and sing this sleighing song”

Let it Snow
Who knew that saying goodbye could be a euphemism? “The fire is slowly dying / And, my dear, we’re still good-bye-ing / But as long as you love me so / Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow”

Santa Claus is Coming to Town
I’m pretty sure this is the basis for the current (Bush) administration’s wiretapping policy. “He’s making a list / and checking it twice / Gonna find out who’s naughty and nice.” Oh, and talk about conformity and persuasion of kids to be “good.” I think you get where I’m going with this

The Christmas Song
An obviously drug induced hallucination in lyrical form. “Jack Frost nipping at your nose”? “folks dressed up like Eskimos”? “Tiny tots wit their eyes all aglow”? If Mel Torme wasn’t high on something while writing this song then I need whatever he had for dinner that night ‘cause I’m running out of ideas for blog posts.

Lyrics found at: http://www.nevada.edu/~blake/Christmas.songs.html

Music in the Backyard (1): A.J. Roach Trio

A.J. Roach - Finally getting some airplay now if we can get him more exposure here in the states!

Acquaintances

I think we’ve all been in this position before: You recently met someone, a co-worker/classmate/friend of a friend/random acquaintance, and you are at that awkward period…you know what I’m talking about right? When you want to kid around but aren’t sure if you might offend them or maybe let something too personal slip out about yourself, like that time back in middle school when you left the gas on in science class and your teacher came in the next day with a wig and drawn in eyebrows. And how much personal information do you let out? (Disclaimer: The following may or may not be true about myself) “I have a girlfriend/boyfriend but please continue to talk to me.” “I am studying to be a teacher but please do not look at me like I just woke up in a trashcan.” “I enjoy the Harry Potter series but please do not categorize me as one of those types.” “I watch the food network in hi-def because regular def doesn’t make my mouth water like it is suppose to, is that weird?” “I can go entire weekends without ever leaving the house but really, I’m a fun person!”

See there is a certain time when all the above could be shared with someone, but it shares a fine line with the time when you should not share this information with a recent acquaintance. For some, writing personal experiences then posting on a blog or myspace allows for a level of detachment…until someone makes a comment and realize that guy/girl you were interested in and/or they were stalking you, actually read it and left a comment that sent you into involuntary spasms before you could finally remove that post from public existence. For ever reason, this sharing of private information or reaching an informal level of coexistence tends not to be an issue between same gendered individuals. At least for guys, whether you want it or not, guys just tend to be more open when they meet another guy, immediately delving into a past conquest, reminiscing about that time they were in Bangkok and spent a night in jail for public exposure but was finally released with a small donation to the station’s commanding officer’s favorite charity – tax write-off was a bonus.

So I propose that in said situations as described in this post, that men and women, when reaching that level of comfort/non-comfort that if we trust our initial instincts that got us to this point, that no matter what personal information surfaces we not hold it against the other…unless of course you find out he/she enjoys a night full of candles, soft music, and minor torture of stray animals, then maybe it might be time to politely decline that invitation to their next party.

Colbert for President of South Carolina

Colbert for President

I am not sure how many of you actually watch the Colbert Report on Comedy Central but it has to be one of the funniest shows on TV. Where Jon Stewart hosts Daily Show and aims at political awareness, calling politicians out their BS (yes, even the dems), Stephen Colbert drifts the fine line of satire. Colbert overtly plays the Regan-loving, right-wing, egomaniac conservative to a mockery. But where his character ends and the man underneath the suit begins is uncertain. And now he is running for president (as both a democrat and republican) in his home state of South Carolina. Colbert’s popularity is limited to viewers of his cable show and the far too brief appearances at White House press corps dinner, the Emmys, and recently, his book tour interviews – each and every time in character.

What better person to make a mockery of the political election system than a person who enters a race exemplifying many of the same characteristics as the current contenders. Straddling the fence to appeal to the center, reaffirming the status as a republican by sucking up to the religious right, self-praise for accomplishments and accolades presented to them by public commissions and/or media publications, playing a character that is rarely representative of the actual person in hopes to appeal to a mass audience, and charisma in front of an audience and/or camera. Oh, and has written a book about America…that’s critical. In fact, Colbert has a leg up on all those other hopefuls…his own half-hour TV time slot, albeit on cable and off-prime hours. Granted Colbert intends to only run in South Carolina and seldom celebrities make even a minor impact on elections (primary or otherwise). Certainly some celebrities have reached national government, heck, even Colbert’s “idol”, Regan, reached the Presidency but this happens most often after years of lower level public service and pandering to the political machine. Now the Colbert Nation is revving up for a push to make a splash in the SC primary. Whether this is to boost his TV show or actually bring attention to the importance of the primary process (or maybe mutually beneficial), Colbert has already received main stream media coverage on his announcement, which in itself was self-scripted. Either way, Colbert’s entrance into the political fray, satirical or not, will bring much needed humor to a field lacking in everything Colbert can bring.

Addiction

Hi, my name is Rick, and I am an addict. I am addicted to addiction. I am a creature of habit and like being addicted to the familiar. Some are addicted to drugs, others to cigarettes or alcohol, or really bad Chinese action films dubbed into English by German bums picked off the street in Dubai. Hey, we all have our place in life. I am addicted to the feeling of comfort that comes with feeding an addiction. I guess that is why my addiction is so prevalent and popular. I have never done drugs, or even smoked a cigarette, but my vices feed the same part of the brain that these other, albeit more harmful, addictions feed. So I thought I would take the time to list my addictions, for what reason, I don’t know, but I’m hoping it will be funny…

…which brings me to my first addiction – humor. I love humor. I love laughing and making people laugh, although the latter is less frequent, so my dream of being a stand-up comic will have to be limited to the scribed form – and even that is up for debate. But come on, who doesn’t enjoy listening to Eddie Murphy’s ‘Raw’, or David Cross, or Dane Cook, endlessly, over and over, until you can do the entire routine to the utter dismay of your significant other. Watching and re-watching Seinfeld, Arrested Development, The Office, and Extras along with movies like Anchorman, Ghostbusters, Wedding Crashers, Monty Python, and Spaceballs leaves me in a state of constant bliss (or at least until reality returns). It’s like my brain must be humored to distract it from how unfunny real life can be. Although real life is pretty funny to, when you stop to watch it.

…which brings me to my next addiction – people watching. Not in that creep voyeuristic kind of way, more in the, hey, I’ve got nothing better to do for the next 15 minutes while I wait for the next available representative at any given state government public services office, so I will watch what people are up to. Nowadays it typically involves cell phones and not paying attention to anything. Although this can lead to humorous situations that include: a person, a cell phone, a comment without context or intent, and another really offended person within earshot. Then you have the whole, “no, I’m sorry, I was talking on my cell phone that is surgically attached to may ear that you could see being only seeing this side of my face.” You also have those people who have headphones growing out of their ears to eventually form a music listening device. Often found humming, unresponsive to the spoken word, and oblivious to traffic and other pedestrians. Somehow music has become their language and no other form of communication will get through. But, their love of music must outweigh their concern for personal safety, interpersonal communication, or their ability to hear things.

…which brings me to my next addiction – listening to my iPod. Yes, I will admit, I can be put into the aforementioned category above. So I enjoy putting my life to music as I move about this world. Plus I am addicted to music. Put them both together and all of a sudden life is like a motion picture with a running soundtrack (which I will blog about in the near future). As previous posts have shown, I reflect on life through music and when I have exhausted all other idea - or I’m feeling lazy - what better default topic than music? So when I am walking through campus or the city, David Gray can put it to music “Life in slow motion somehow it don’t seem real,” Josh Ritter can strum you along your way, and Elliott Smith can comfort you on those rainy days. Don’t get me wrong, the sounds of nature are beautiful, but musicians can enhance your visual experience like no other addiction can. It also keeps you from hearing all those idiotic conversations about celebrities or uninformed political debates where kids just argue based on whatever their parents yell at the nightly world news program. And let me tell you, missing out on those kinds of conversations I think has helped me avoid becoming dumber, that happens by other means.

…which brings me to my next addiction – NOT politics. Politics might be the best stupid reality show on TV. You’ve got drama, humor, ridiculous situations, and the best actors money can by. I have a great appreciation for government and the philosophical understanding of the purpose of government, but politicians and talking heads (which have been around as long as government) undermine the entire system. When people complain about the ills of government, it can all be traced back to a political figure or commentator looking out for their own self-interests. When the system is removed from money, stereotypes, and selfishness, then we can maybe, finally, see how a democratic government rightfully services its citizens. People are so fanatical about government and politicians, liberal/conservative, republican/democrat, so much so that neither side will listen to the other, no room for movement, like every single political radical is stuck in an elevator and I’m just waiting for the cables to snap and they all go plummeting 40 floors. Most of the country still categorizes themselves moderates, but it is the radicals that get the wasted airtime, soapboxes, and media attention. And if anyone is wondering why the country is becoming more polarized they simply need to turn on a TV on Sunday morning – which is true on so many different levels. The big three dividers: politics, religion, and football.

…which brings me to my next addiction – no, not religion – sports. As I am sure you have gather, I cannot get enough sports or competitive events. Leaving aside “competitive eating,” almost every other sport offers everything one needs to feed an addiction. Drama (check), fast pace action (check), instant gratification (check), brand new experiences every 3 seconds (check), and uninhibited, full-force, explosive, attention retaining, reach in and pull out your organs excitement (check), you’ve got it all. Do we care that half, if not more, of all professional athletes use performance enhancing medication? Come on, what is more exciting than seeing two inhuman physically shaped men colliding at superhuman speeds and watching every ligament in their knees exploding at once on live TV? Curling not exciting enough for you? Maybe they should institute blow torches or body checking for the sweepers – seriously, is it a sport if there is no defense? Well, I guess pro basketball is still a sport so…

…so I am addicted to addiction, not to one particular addiction but just the feeling of addiction. No drug can really satisfy all my addictive desires, could not even come close. Some say they are addicted to life, others say they are addicted to something I mentioned above. But what more comforting feeling is there then just being addicted to something. Not dependent or needy, but the feeling of satisfaction and familiarity that comes with quenching an addiction. I know that sounds like I’m one sidestep away from full blown alcoholic or drug addict, but this is a different addiction – an addiction to be addicted to addiction.

Heroes

So a popular question to ask someone, a friend or significant other, is the age old question…what power would you want to have if you were a superhero. I always go to my old standby – invisibility. Psychoanalyze all you want, but how cool would it be just to walk around, go wherever you want without being noticed and peek in on people in their truest form. Go ahead, peek in on a celebrity at home, feet propped up on a coffee table watching themselves on Extra, just like we would be doing on any given night. Or check out what is going on at the White House at 2am, probably the president with his feet propped up on a coffee table watching “Lil’ Bush” or trying to make one of those tough decisions, like what to have for his late night snack – pie or nachos? But seriously, which power would you pick?

Thanks to Marvel, DC Comics, the Fantastic Four, Heroes, and X-Men, all the good powers have already been…theorized, if you will. Flying (check), invincibility/regeneration (check), telekinesis (check), ability to create spider-webs (check), screaming loud enough to disorient all within a mile radius (check). I give X-Men the medal for being most creative, but at this point, you almost have to be, all the standard “super” powers have been realized on TV, in comics, and on the big screen. At this point all that is left is to argue endlessly who is a better superhero, Batman, Superman, or The Greatest American Hero – sing it with me, “believe it or not, I’m walking on air, never thought I could be so free…” So where else is there to go? A superhero who can balance that national budget? A extraterrestrial who isn’t out to destroy earth and all its inhabitance but could if it sneezed accidental but came to earth because it was teased at alien high school? A deadbeat dad actually paying child support?

Now imagine a school like the one in X-Men where kids who possess gifted powers learn standard school curriculum but also how to apply their abilities. History will show that no matter how gifted a child might be, putting a group of similar aged adolescents in a boarding school where they are taught the basic knowledge set, they will socialize and act like every other school social system. So some kid who can manipulate fire will always be the “cool” kid, because come on, who really wants to hang out with the kid who can just turn things into cold ice. And seriously, who wouldn’t want a friend who can turn his skin into steel plates, but a girlfriend you can’t even touch you because she’ll suck the life force right out of you? Just like every other school, fights would break out, only in this ‘gifted’ school, some serious mess could go down – although a headmaster that can freeze time and kill anyone just by concentrating hard enough would certainly keep things in line.

Speaking of which, I’m not a big fan of time travel as a superpower. With the exception of “Back to the Future” and “Austin Powers”, time travel or time manipulation just really bugs me. First of all, the whole concept of time travel is even theoretically impossible, on almost every level of science. The consequences…I think I won’t even go into it, I’m sure you get the point. In fictional situations, it brings in far too many questions, and puts holes in every single aspect of the story. The best explanation of time travel in a movie was in the second Austin Powers film, “So, Basil, if I travel back to 1969 and I was frozen in 1967, presumably, I could go back and look at my frozen self. But, if I'm still frozen in 1967, how could I have been unthawed in the '90s and traveled back to the '60s? Oh, no, I've gone cross-eyed.” Exactly. Somehow it works in comedies, not dramas or action-adventures. So whenever I watch Heroes, I try to suspend disbelief because it isn’t a bad show. Just like life, sometimes we need to suspend disbelief, except everyday heroes, and find our own superpower. But for now, I think I will stick with the old stand by of invisibility because then life would be like one big, unscripted TV show. And what is more humorous than real life?

Average

In baseball, the batting average is the number of times a batter gets a hit divided by the total number of  chances, or at bats. Now there’s a lot more that goes into it besides that, like walks, being hit by a pitch, scratching one's crotch, do not count as an at bats, but I think you get the point. For most players, batting .300 (or 30%) is considered good, maybe even above average. Below .200 is considered bad, the “Mendoza Line.” No one has it over .400 for a season since Ted Williams in 1941. He hit .406, basically he got a hit 4 out of every 10 at bats – meaning he failed to get a hit 6 out of every 10 at bats. And he was considered one of the best hitters of all time. So the average player who, say, bats .250 (25%) fails to get a hit 3 out of every 4 at bats. Granted they are charged with a task of hitting a little white ball 3 inches in diameter coming at them at 80-100 miles per hour, using a long wooden stick, not an easy task mind you.

Well, baseball is a metaphor for life in some many ways, people have written volumes on the topic. A guy ‘strikes out’ when he fails to ‘score’ with a lady. I won’t even go into the whole reaching base references that you are probably already familiar with, even if you are not a baseball fan. To guys, sometimes the bar scene is like “playing the field” of baseball so it is just fitting I think of it as a spectator sport. Now some guys go with the swing away approach. "Can’t get a hit if you leave the bat on your shoulders." Others wait to get the count in their favor, for the uninitiated that means waiting for a time when you can expect a hittable pitch. In this analogy, I guess that would mean waiting for last call or something. Of course we have the doping charges of major league players using performance enhancing substances to ensure better chances of getting hits or even homeruns. I won’t touch that one but I think you can see the correlation. Some prefer to play at their home field, others on the road. Some like the day games but most still play at night. The adventurous ones stick around for the day-night doubleheader or sit through long rain delays. You have pinch hitters who can be called upon in potential scoring situations, but pinch runners are rarely used, only when speed is of the essences. Think of the seventh-inning stretch like that hour or two you do at the karaoke bar before heading into the late innings.

Sometimes life in the relationship world feels like the old Abbott and Costello baseball fielding line-up skit, “Who’s on First?,” – yes. Or better yet, maybe it is like your on opposite teams and the third base coach is giving encrypted singles to his team that you can’t decipher. A relationship should be more like softball, easy to hit pitches, bigger bats and balls, to get better changes at reaching base….and drinking only makes the game more fun. Instead we face the ace of the pitching staff every 5 days, some hot, upstarts the other 4 days, the hall of fame closer during those close games, and a gold glove winning middle infielder who won't let any balls get by them, turning an inning ending double play, and can make those diving stops, throw from your knees strikes to beat you by a half-a-step at first base.

I’ve always considered myself an average guy, maybe the most average you’ll ever meet. Does that mean I will only be considered successful a quarter of the time? Maybe. Of course I consider myself successful by waking up on time in the morning and making it back to bed at some point after dark…so far I’m batting 1.000 in that category. Go me. So what is our definition of average? Do we apply the bell curve to everything in life? Has life gotten so hard that we need to think of it like a 3 inch tightly wound ball covered in leather with some stitches coming at us at 95mph? Do we start testing with a passing rate of 25/100, but make the tests really, really hard?

Well, it is October; the baseball playoffs are on their way. A whole lot of hours of boringness capped with a few minutes of the best excitement of your life…sound familiar? So let the games begin and play ball!

Bottle Up and Explode

This is a continuation of a post I made back in May…wow, I really haven’t been blogging…

Step 11: The longest hour. That hour right after you return from lunch has got to be the longest hour of your entire life. See, each day it gets longer and longer, thus becoming the longest hour of your life - with the exception of that hour you sat next to the big, smelly guy on the plane that kept looking for the flight attendant to order his next round of drinks as a continuation of his layover hangover busting romp in the airport bar. So now you are back at work, calls are waiting, your stomach is turning after eating something that appeared to be a chicken sandwich but you are now thinking it was fried rubber, because, hey, everything tastes like chicken. Anyway, your all too brief respite is soon forgotten as the work piles up and your co-workers have all gone off on yet another birthday luncheon for someone you aren’t even sure works in your office. As your body begins to make noises and hemorrhages that alerts seismometers of subterranean movement and you think you might just spontaneously implode you look at the clock and it has only be 15 minutes since you returned.

Step 12: Afternoon “nap.” At this point you have survived the morning obstacles to the shower, the nascar race they call a morning commute, the co-worker arrival gauntlet to your desk, the over-caffeinated callers and their fix-my-problem-now user incompetence issues, and the after lunch, steel cage match, bare-fisted bout your stomach had with your large and small intestines. Now it is time for that caffeine induced afternoon crash. That blissful, quiet time of the day when you shut out the world, stare off into space as if you had blinders on. Calls go unanswered but you don’t care. Paper work blows away with the wind like leaves in autumn. Drifting, drifting away. Reality and daydreams meld together and you lose track which is which. You call your male co-worker Alice and the e-mail notification sound is like seagulls chirping just outside your beach front home. The hand on your computer screen that signifies a link can be clicked looks like one of those foam hands saying your team is #1 as your team wins the big game. Whammm. Back to reality, some server went down and the place has gone to ludicrous speed with people all up in a frenzy.

Step 13: Final countdown. Waiting, watching the clock, its 4 o’clock, its got to stop….I know, I know, too many unrelated musical references there but you get the point. Those last few agonizing minutes when you are doing everything possible to make the time go by faster…even by doing work, actual work. Amazing, never thought I would see the day when you would actually do work because the alternative is you being so bored that time has completely stopped. Now fellow disgruntled employee, hang in there for it is almost time to go, almost time to leave all of this behind, relax, sleep, then start all over again in a few hours. What a fun life we have.

Step 14: Closing time. So the clock has struck that time, you know that time, the one that releases the 300 pound weight that you’ve been supporting on your head for the past 6+ hours, that time of the day that if you work in a factory back in the 19th century or a query in Bedrock would be accompanied with a steam whistle or a really loud prehistoric bird screaming. Now it is time for the escape. Imagine that scene in Indiana Jones, no, not the one when everyone melts away for looking at the arc, you know, the one at the beginning, where Indy is stealing the golden skull looking thing. He weighs the bag of sand trying to judge to right weight, then makes the switch. All is clear right? No booty traps this time, you mean booby traps, that’s what I said, booby traps. But we all know better. And like a big ass perfectly round rock chasing after us, we take off. Throwing caution to the wind we dodge poison darts flying, jumping bottomless caverns, get chased by unruly natives with bad haircuts only to end up in a plane, sitting on a snake…there are motherf$%king snakes on the motherf$%king plane! But hey, you got out of there. Your prize? A stress-filled drive home that includes red lights at every traffic light, a bottle neck at another road repair site, and some guy on a Moped. Then you get stuck in a major traffic jam and that guy on the Moped goes tooting by with that annoying little motor like the turtle beating the hare.

Step 15: Home life. Finally you arrive home. Now what? Dinner. Maybe a little ranting to a loved one or loved ones, real or virtual (present company included). A hot shower to rid yourself of the filth that you accumulated on your body, mind, and soul over the course of the day. How ‘bout some mindless TV watching? Or a movie? Are you just wasting time until it is time to go off to dreamland? Are we all just working for the weekend? (you can never get enough ‘80s references) Well, it is now up to you to take this 15 step program and flip it on its end, heels over head, and shake things up because this daily minutia should always be avoided at all possible opportunities.

Greatest Hits - Disc 1

Greatest Hits

I’ve been going back through older blog posts because I am gradually adding to my myspace account (yes, I caved, but don’t worry, I am being cautious and it has gotten me back in touch with some old friends, so whatcha gonna do? Dress me up in a chicken suit and call me a hypocrite) But it has given me an opportunity to see how funny I actually am…in writing. It is curious to me, especially in my current doldrums, how these moments of humorous inspiration hit me. How are the ideas generated? Where do they come from? Why am I at the mercy of moods which affect my thinking and ability to be humorous? So in these days of monotony, callers with endless stupidity, and constant days of nonsensical jabbering only broken by cold silence let’s look back on some of the highlights (lowlights) of previous posts. Think of it like the “best of…” episodes run by sitcoms when they have run low on humorous stories or ideas and need a week (or month) off. At the end, remember to hum to yourself Green Day’s “Good Riddance”.

Shall I do this in chronological order or like a countdown of my favorites? Hmm…I think I will go with the latter which will force me to use some cognitive thinking, remember kids, it is not what you learn in school, but how you learneded it. What the F, that’s the second time in 4 hours that the Star Wars theme has come up on my iPod, what is wrong with this thing?? What is wrong with me for leaving it on here?? (See, random statements…not so funny) Should I admit to you that the next track on the iPod set to shuffle is Talking Heads’ “Burning Down the House”. Yeah, I need to look into not putting every single song I have on it.

Now this may take some time to go through all of these so bare with me. I am a little scare to find how many typos and just plain misspellings I will find. Needless to say, it will be close to the triple digits…wow, I am finding it hard to even understand myself. That explains so much, you just don’t know. Now on with the hits:

Track 1:
I love to know where things have come from, where they’ve been, how they got there. And I mean everything, old buildings, people, a bolt, a Popsicle stick, this chair I’m sitting in. Where was it made? Who made it? Who’s sat in it? How many farts have passed through its mesh lining?

Track 2:
As you can tell by now…I tend to go off on tangents, bare with me, maybe this medium, and modern word processing technology, will help me fix that problem. (that hasn’t happened yet, has it?)

Track 3:
Oh, the classics…but that walk down nostalgia lane only shows how covertly the Televisions wooed our senses, brainwashed our thoughts, and made us long to be able to jump over tall fences, talk to really short people in robot costumes, and walk into a bar and have everyone know your name (first sign that you might be an alcoholic – seek treatment).

Track 4:
I actually went without cable for a year of my adult life, back to rabbit ears, and all that did was get me addicted to broadcast network TV shows. Don’t get me wrong, I certain wish I was lost on a freaky island with Kate, Claire, Shannon, and Libby…but I have a feeling that when the truth is revealed on that show, it will all have been one big giant commercial ad for Honda.

Track 5:
So that should give you some idea where this observation is coming from…but back to the topic at hand, which I have no idea what it is anymore…thanks for playing along.

Track 6:
what will happen when we get to a point where we are talking to people by cell-phone, or atom-phone, or implant-a-phone, to a person right next to us. Or when we don’t recognized our own children when we run into them that one day we just so happen to be in our house at the same time.

Track 7:
I recently got a Bluetooth hands-free headset for my cell phone and it totally kicks ass. Now I can blog, chat, e-mail, drive, look pompous, talk on my cell phone, talk to other people, talk to myself without looking crazy, all with this fashionable earpiece dangling from one ear.

Track 8:
Too much of anything is bad for you…water = drown, sun = dehydration, alcohol = alcohol poisoning, The Brady Bunch = an overwhelming feeling Marsha is always stealing your thunder that leads to a mental breakdown and intervention by Peter who seems to be the only person who noticed, at which point Alice comes in and discovers the dog is missing and blames you for not being responsible enough.

Track 9:
I need noises so abundant that my entire body vibrates with the voracity of a jet fighter flying at mach 2. I need my eyes spinning, jittering, bouncing 80 times a second that one day I will have to bob my head up and down like a bird just to see straight. Surround sound…how about surround vision? When’s that SV-TV going to be available to the consumer market? Imagine your TV viewing as if it were in an iMax theater

Track 10:
Although crazy Astronaut lady probably could have taken care of this all online, without having to drive non-stop along I-10 in diapers to meet the other woman at the airport….the AIRPORT, really? That one place in Orlando where the security personnel don’t look like Mickey Mouse and are probably more abundant than at the Magic Kingdom?

Track 11:
Now, we as men know that women express their affection in their own way, which usually involves (in no particular order) a lot of crying, sighing, gazing, giggling, and hysterics, often all in the span 20 seconds.

Track 12:
Now sit back in your comfy la-z-boy and watch the crumble of the western world right before your half-closed eyes…unless you are watching Fox News, then everything is fine.

Track 13:
If a camera was following me around, I doubt my family would even watch. They would use it to torture double-agent, MI-6, double oh, gentlemen spies right after they were told the highly elaborate global take-over plans by an obviously nicknamed villain.

Wow, good times, I hope you enjoyed reading some of the highlights from the past 6 months as much as I did. Look for more disc sets to follow…

It’s All Been Done Before

I know, I know. You are thinking, ‘Rick, where is my dose of humorous exposition on the human culture that has been so absent from my life?’ It has been some time since my last wispy and witty repartee of words, but I have found it difficult lately to bring myself to force good nature and musing on life, culture, and the world. With class, work (don’t get me started – Rick concentrate on happy thoughts – serenity now!), oh, and Iraq, dog mauling, and aging bridges, all make it difficult to pen perky prose. Secondly, what to write on? Work? No. Definitely no. Life? Not much happening right now, in the eye of the storm. Pop culture? Do we need another exposé on over-exposed ex-celebrities? Rehab? Again? If it didn’t work the first two times… Maybe prison will work – wait – isn’t Paris still a snobbish socialite? Anyway…boring same ol’

Speaking of which, I have been thinking of different topics to write on and I came up with the idea of balance, and how life and relationships are all about balance. Guess what? Been there done that. So now I am recycling ideas without even knowing it, that’s scary. Must mean I really believe in that idea. But it brings me back to ideas, makes me wonder how writers come up with shows, movies, stories, books, or….blogs. But more power too them. I am not one to reflect or ponder life’s mysteries or keep a running self-dialog, journal, or diary. And far too often my thoughts come and go like the sun where ideas surface then sink away to the under hemisphere of my brain. For some reason, my best ideas come as I am falling asleep, when I attempt to distract myself from life just so I can fall into unconsciousness. Last night I came up with the new season plot for ‘24’, it involves sending an inaudible signal pulse through cell phone towers that can cause death to anyone who is currently talking on a cell phone at that time – around 5:58pm, beep, beep, beep, beep, boop. Now that would take out a lot of people, but don’t worry, Jack Bower will save the day and catch the bad guys…maybe, you will have to watch and see – if I ever get a job writing for Fox, which is highly unlikely. But if any of you are writers for a big studio, please ignore all the above comments relating to lack of ideas, I have a plethora of creative and real situations that can be dramatic, comical, or world ending...or all the above. I'm available for freelance work.

But if you look at the ever-expanding exposition they call film and tv, books and magazines, music and, well, music, it can be argued that it, in fact, has all been done before. Look up Barenaked Ladies or the Ryan Montbleau Band, The Forgery, or the large library of volumes covering ways to avoid doing what has been done before. Evidence: the vast motion pictures that are remakes, updates, or regurgitated storylines. Not to mention the copycat films that try to ride the popularity of other successes. See Harry Potter – The Chronicle of Narnia – The Golden Compass, 300 – Beowulf – 10000 BC, Di Vinci Code – National Treasure, and I’m pretty sure every horror movie is based on the same story – like a horror story bible or something. It makes you wonder if we will reach the capacity of human creative thought. Fortunately that looks like it is well off in the future with the advances in technology providing a whole new plethora of inspiration. In fact that could be a movie idea right there. Maybe it can be called “10,000 BCE” – Earth at the year 10,000 where humans are joined by other species with audible communication that can be translated and spoken, the weather is controlled, and no one can come up with a unique idea for a movie, book, or song. One ice age has come and gone, humans survived by going subterranean and cities span below and above ground and discrimination is based on where you live. Of course current undertones and moral questions will arise within the futuristic setting like racism, war and peace, and greed. Done and done. That movie almost writes itself, consider that idea #2 all you Hollywood writers, copyright: me. Consider that a pitch, contact me for script writing employment.

Expectations

Yet another relative term, expectations can change even the smallest of situations. Preconceived notions regarding an event in anticipation of what is to come can distort reality and leave a person unfulfilled. From a wedding, a start of something new, a new job, to something as simple as a movie or a book, if expectations are not achieved, we are disappointed. I say this on the eve of the newest, and last, Harry Potter installment (don’t spoil it for me – but my prediction is they both die). But you could say this about anything with high expectations, such as the latter Star Wars trilogy (complete blew). But even on a smaller scale to the individual, big events never seem to live up the expectations because we can never predict exactly how something will turn out (hmm, on this trip to San Francisco I think I will save the world, get the girl, receive universal praise and admiration, and blow them away with my powerpoint presentation at the share holders meeting). But how can we avoid expectations? Our mind creates expectations to prepare itself for a coming event (what do you mean the reception will be on a blimp?) What becomes dangerous is the constant distraction and brain power used to establish our expectations (I will be old and retired in forty years! What will I do in between sleeping and napping?!?)

Conversely, low expectations allow for pleasant surprises (oh, this mysterious, unpronounceable dish didn’t kill me…nice). How often have you entered a movie theater where Keanu Reeves is the star and expected to be blown away? (Enter the Matrix) We have low expectations in some cases for good reason, but give the Matrix credit for surprising a hella lot a people. (raise your hand if you saw a spoof of the roof top bullet scene) How many times do you watch a video, navigate to the website, read reviews, search on google, ask friends before going out on a date – I mean, see a movie? (Modern dating? I'm pretty sure it used to be considered stalking) That might be a good indication that you may have high expectations.

I have fallen into this despair on several occasions, and what I have learned, nothing ever turns out how you expect it – too many variables. (I was never good at math) But some expectations are unavoidable, my advice to you, keep an open mind, adapt to situations easily but to your advantage, and do not fret when expectations do not meet your high standards (that way when the event fails to reach your expectations you can skip out during the intermission and be home by the time Lost comes on) And that’s today’s word.

Catch-up

Wow, I hadn’t really realized how long it has been, if anyone actually reads this blog I bet they would be pissed. Fortunately, it is only used for a squeezing of the cognitive sponge and I can return to my regular scheduled ranting knowing that no one really missed a drops. But let me catch you up on the happenings in the sundrenced world:

Golf Trip – It is truly amazing how the performance-to-inebriation ratio is conversely correlated, moving in opposite directions. But I blame it on sleep deprivation and exhaustion, hard to play well when you are tired from 3 rounds of golf previously. I’ll call it the time-performance diffusion half-life. Regardless, by all accounts good times were had, and keeping with a disturbing trend, only one person to the hospital this year to match last year's totals. For future note, golf is neither football nor nascar - it makes so much more sense sober. If only I had been sober enough to point out that fact in stead of laughing my ass off. Hey, at least I was sober enough to transport the patients to the emergency room. Must be getting wise in my elder age…speaking of which…

Birthday – That’s right, I turned another year older on the 23rd of June and my body is reminding me each time I finish a run. I may look younger than my age (as my middle school track team runners inquired if I was a senior in High School or I could pass for Prince William) but my mother insures that I was born on this day so many years ago and my joints concur. But I’m still young and nagging aches and pains come with running and I was fortunate enough to avoid major injuries in my running career so I can’t complain, at least I can still run and walk around without a limp, which is more than I can say for a few of my golf trip mates.

Boston – That ability to walk certainly helped for getting around the town of Boston. (These transitions make me feel like I am the emcee for the Price is Right’s showcase showdown). I was in Boston for my birthday and let me tell you, what a cool town. Probably helped that it was in the mid-70s and sunny, and a Saturday, and it was my birthday, and we weren’t rushed to do anything except wonder. We picked up the freedom trail around the city off and on, took a bunch of pictures, saw the façade of ‘Cheers’ and relaxed on the Charles River, which was bustling with runners, bikers, walkers, and pedestrians. I will have to hand it to Boston for incorporated large chain stores into the aesthetic of the city. A very historic city, like Richmond is to the Civil War, Boston is to the Revolutionary period. It felt familiar, although Richmond just can’t get the commercial foot traffic downtown, maybe we should get a “freedom trail” if we could only accept the fact that the south lost the war. Maybe we can call it the ‘walk of shame’ or to put a positive spin on it, ‘path of progress’ or something. Anyway, I will be curious to see how my opinion will change when I head up there anytime between November and April. See, we southern folk rarely see a river freeze over (a river!). As the cabbie told us, they have wagers on when the first person will fall through the ice trying to cross from Cambridge to Downtown over the Charles. Another talked about speed skating up river near Waltham. Umm…I think I’ll take the surface streets. Oh, and an additional word of caution for anyone moving for school up in that area (and there’s only about 100 of them, quite literally) watch out for the 10’ bridge clearance along the Memorial Drive – as our friendly local pointed out, don’t want to turn that moving truck into a convertible.

School – Well, I don’t have to move for school, I’ve been at it for some time already, but I see the light and I am closing in on completion, and the beginning of the end starts this summer. I am officially a graduate student (although I have taken a few grad school classes already). This next year will set the course for the next few years and shed some light on if this sacrifice was worth the time, money, and frustrations. To be honest, it hasn’t been that bad, school isn’t really all that difficult and there is no way I was going to keep doing what I was doing, too bad being a student doesn’t pay…can you believe you actually have to pay them? That’s crazy. So we’ll see how that turns out.

Work – Yes, I am reminded every day why I am changing my career. It is almost like they keep trying to make things more difficult when they think they are making it better. So, you remember that scene in Star Wars, the trash compacter walls squeezing in from both sides? Yeah, kind of like that except I don’t have R2-D2 to communicate with the computer system because our network is never working like it should be, firewalls up and down, passwords getting locked, - and R2 is down for maintenance anyway. So, I should get back to it, at least for about 5 minutes. That, too, has a time-performance decay half-life and is highly dependent on amount of sleep I get during the week. Hopefully I will get a chance to return to my regularly schedule updates over the next few weeks. Enjoy the 4th if I don’t post before then!

Golf Weekend

Let me tell you a little something about golf, no other sport can a wider range of citizens partake, enjoy, compete, and/or succeed than golf. From the First Tee to retirement communities, golf is enjoyed by every race, ethnicity, or nationality across the globe without discrimination or prejudice. The only limiting factor of golf, although a very large limiting factor, is cost. Cost to play and cost for courses, clubs, accessories, etc. But, and myself being an example, golf can be access by anyone…even if it means playing a municipal, $3, sand greens course with no fairways or really anything except tee mats and a hole with a flag in it. Driving ranges must have been designed by overworked middle management employees who needed to deflect their frustrations.

Golf is almost therapeutic - if it weren’t for the endless confusion of how a little white ball could go in all directions except straight - yet somehow still fairly relaxing. Imagine a sunny, warm day sitting in a small electric powered cart, looking out upon a (hopefully) plush green fairway, waiting for your partner to play into an open green, sipping on a beer, no worries, no thoughts of work or other issues. Just playing golf. Just hitting a little ball hundreds of yards that equals the same amount as hitting it 4 inches.

I am not sure if it really can be put into words or described it to someone who does not play golf. It is like watching NASCAR or playing baseball, maybe fishing for some of you…or shopping for shoes I would have to guess. For years, spring and summer reminded me of playing soccer as a kid and fall reminds me (still) of running cross-country. But more and more, summer is becoming golf. I have only really been playing for about 3 years, at least on ‘real’ courses, but there is something about golf that is addictive, you can always improve, always work, and you see the benefits of your efforts, and that is addictive. And in those rare occasions when you can save up enough money, you get the opportunity to head down to Myrtle Beach, SC and hit the links with 23 of your closest friends and get out of work for a couple of days. Now if I could figure out a way to get out of work indefinitely, or maybe just tomorrow, then I would be set. Pictures will be forthcoming, until then, have a very enjoyable weekend, I will be.

MY LIST: June

June's artist: Ben Folds

Let me take a minute to describe the brilliance of Ben Folds. As mentioned before, Ben Folds and his former band, Ben Folds Five (consisting of 3 members, go figure), was discovered by yours truly via a Counting Crows lyric (back when CC was still artsy-pop) in a song called Monkey, “Got no where but home to go/ Got Ben Folds on my radio right now”, and with publicity like that, I am sure I am not alone. About that time, BFF had just released Whatever and Ever Amen, possible one of the Top 10 albums of all time…all time being my formative lifetime of music listening. However, not to be overlooked is BFF’s self-titled debut album, a masterpiece in its own right. I was recently listening to this album and got to thinking about how each song had a verse that blew my mind away. Later I will share them in list format - I can tell you are excited.

Out of the North Caroline and East Coast clubs, Ben Folds ventured into solo status after his third and final BFF release, The Unauthorized Biography of Reinhold Messner. Clearly Ben was the song writing juggernaut behind the band and the departure was much needed. Solo life allowed Ben Folds to spread his wings and control his creativity to avenues not limited by heavy bass or thumping drums. No longer was it necessary to mimic punk acts or bang on the piano with all day enthusiasm. Rockin’ the Suburbs retained many of Folds’ standards of rockin’ piano and personal storytelling, but included ballads of narratives and everyday sadness.

Folds’ live shows have always been sweat producing, awe inspiring, ad-libbed sets that allowed everyone to feel like they were just watching a friend jump on top of a piano, who hasn’t seen one of their friends do that? Stripped down stages, small clubs, and lack of pomp and circumstance that surround most modern day rock stars, a status Folds would rather not self-label, is the key to Folds’ popularity in the sub-pop culture. Ben took to touring solo and released Ben Folds Live, just a man and a piano, with a little audience assisting participation. The album is one of the best live shows you can find by any artist with or without backing.

In recent years, Ben Folds looks to release EP albums consisting of songs-as-he-goes that show his maturing as a musician. He is not afraid to take a risk, including collaboration with William Shatner or movie score composer or rap covers, but most times they pay off while remaining true to himself. So, if you have never checked out Ben Folds, do it now…go ahead…see that video below? Go watch it…now!

Song that will change your life: Best Imitation of Myself
Other tracks that you must listen to: Philosophy, Brick, The Last Polka, Kate, There’s Always Someone Cooler Than You, Bastard, Still Fighting It, Landed, The Luckiest
Hidden Tracks: In Between Days, Song for the Dumped, Battle of Who Could Care Less, Fred Jones, Not the Same, One Down

Lyrics that will blow your mind for Ben Folds Five self-titled debut album:
“Stop the bus/ I wanna be lonely/ when seconds pass slow/ and years go flying by”

“and I dragged you up the stairs/ and I told you to fly/ you were flapping your arms/ you started to cry, you were too high”

“do you think I should take a class to lose my southern accent / did I make me up or make a face till it stuck / I do the best imitation of myself”

“well, she crept back in the house at half past 3 / shook her head to see him snoring in his sleep/ ‘if you really loved me,’ she said / ‘I wouldn’t have to be so mean’”

Ben Folds~Bastard

MY LIST post on Ben Folds coming soon.

Tragic Trilogies

I admit it - I love blockbuster, high-priced, world-ending, summer movies. Anything that has cars flipping, sabers clashing, and fire – lots and lots of fire – accompanied with LOUD NOISES. Jerry Bruckheimer/Michael Mann must be taking cues from my head. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoy the occasional documentary about penguins or global warming, or dramadies involving comedians branching out (Little Miss Sunshine, Stranger than Fiction), or foreign film (Amelie, Downfall, Joyeux Noel), but for pure entertainment value, I have to go with meteors falling from space and ending life as we know it, or alien invasions, or dinosaur DNA from mosquitoes, or bad remakes (a glaring eye your way King Kong). What they really need to do is to make a film that follows all those movies after the devastation because for some reason at the end of all those movies, everyone is happy - cheerful orchestra music is playing, fireworks, and inspiring speeches – but seriously, like half the world’s population is gone, Paris: whipped out, DC: in ruins, New Orleans: under water (oh, wait, that wasn’t a movie and there was no happy ending), do you think those aliens did have reserves they could call up, put into service for 4 or 5 tours of duty? Come on, that’s just good military tactics – keep sending troops until the people you are trying to conquer give up, pack there bags and say, “oh well.” Those movies never end like that so I’m sure that what the follow up would show would be the aliens or robots coming down after the entire planet has been devastated by city destroying weapons or meteor impact created natural disasters and enslaving the remaining resistance. But no one wants to see that movie. Speaking of which, on to the rant for this post…sequels - more specifically - trilogy sequels.

In most cases sequels are alright, some are even better than the original (I’m looking at you Spidey). But in certain situations, a sequel becomes a trilogy and bad things happen, very bad things. I speak of this because over the weekend I saw Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End. Don’t get me wrong, for entertaining, mindless entertainment, it was pretty decent, similar to its predecessor, Dead Man’s Chest. But I discovered a disturbing trend of trilogies of this kind. First, Keira Knightly can’t act, and second, when a movie is aware of its on popularity it will implode on itself. Let us take a look at the trends established in history that followed similar paths, at least the ones that I can recall. Now, not all trilogies are the same, in this particular scenario, they are trilogies that released the first act as a singular, successful, and complete debut. Upon large buzz and/or box office returns, the executives choose to “capitalize” on the profit making juggernauts. This in turn drives said executives to make 2 sequels at the same time, with the middle installment ending without resolution, or “to be continues…” I am sure some kind mind for you already:

The Matrix – A mind bending, techno thriller about humans being batteries for self-aware machines. OK, so maybe a slight rip off of Terminator but the debut entered with little notice but the story and special effects got word of mouth motoring faster than a Rosie/Hasselbeck feud. Warner Bros. hit gold, a friend of mine got a job, temporarily, and Keanu Reeves got respect, temporarily. References made in the original, such as Zion and the machine city, left openings for future follow-up sequels, along with the superman-phone booth-fly-away-I’m-gonna-get-you-sucka ultimatum ending, but the movie alone was nothing that had ever been experienced before by a mass audience and hard pressed to be matched. Revelations and Revolutions had its moments, I particularly like the transparent twins, but the multi-Smith, yin-yang profit seeing type philosophical ending was convoluted and confusing. Plus style was lost, The Matrix incorporated metallic, green tint, and filters for inside the matrix scenes with vast contrast for ‘real world’ shots. The blend of technology and live action was much more seamless and somehow more believable. The subsequent reincarnations are, as my dear friend puts it, more like video games. Maybe that was the target audience.

Back to the Future – I know comical/sci-fi/timetravel movies should not apply to our critique but this was the first trilogy I can remember actually seeing in the movie theaters and being aghast and dumbfounded at the end of the second film while staring blankly at “To Be Continue…” then to be offered, as if consolation, scenes from the forthcoming, old-west themed “Part III”. Again, the original BTTF brought a unique perspective on the time-tested time travel theme. Blending humor and action, avoiding overly technical time travel explanations, and 50’s era music, BTTF provided family entertainment. The flying Delorean practically had the fans screaming for more. In my opinion, BTTF II actually succeeded as a movie. It expanded the time travel elements to past and future, alternate futures, adding interaction with the first movie scenes, all the while maintaining the humor it was known for. The third installment may have been enjoyed by old-west buffs but I even doubt that. A love story for Doc? Please. A flying train? Just isn’t the same as a Delorean.

POTC – As previously mentioned, Pirates and Swashbuckling are entertaining when you have a Keith Richards inspired Johnny Depp providing comic relief. Where did Pirates go wrong? Story. I was watching the special features of Dead Man’s Chest (the second installment) and up until like 2 weeks before shooting was set to start, they hadn’t a script. I mean, how hard is it to say, ‘Sparrow is tied to long pole and set atop a bonfire – hilarity ensues’? Or ‘put pirates in bad caged ball, dangling over cavernous pit, cut rope – hilarity ensues’? I guess their problem was getting to those situations with an interesting and easy to flow story. Maybe that is a problem for any movie based on an amusement park ride – great ride but not much story can be squeezed from animatronics (anyone else feel they were paying homage to that with Bootstrap Bill in the ship brig scene?). I also don’t think they knew how to end it and I won’t be giving it away here, but my question…what happened to the Kraken (yes, I had to look that one up)? Nevermind, I obviously missed that, hopefully you won’t. OK, so I am being a little harsh on the follow-ups of POTC, they actually are fairly entertaining in their own right, and Johnny Depp is hilarious in all three, but the Will and Elizabeth storyline was just, I don’t know, uninteresting after the first film, and left a lot to be desired…I blame Keira Knightly. Don’t get me wrong, she’s attractive but she can’t act, but she’s young, so either she will improve or we will be exposed to far too many years of her poor acting.

I could go on, but I wanted to point out why these film trilogies are flawed. Unlike other trilogies/sequels, these films aren’t/weren’t franchises, such as comic book characters (Superman, Spider-man) or even emerging franchises like Jurassic Park, Die Hard, or any horror movie that is successful once. But where they really go awry is their popular self-awareness. Most comic book character movies go in knowing they will do well and have multiple sequels, thus the first, ‘foundation’ movie tends to lack in entertainment, whereas movies like The Matrix and POTC basically had one shot to draw in a crowd before sequels were approved. Once that was accomplished, riding on the tail of their own success was easy. Conversely, movies like Rocky, the Bourne series, Oceans, Die Hard, and Lethal Weapon are complete movies, using elements of their predecessors but separate story lines with resolution – for better or worse. Let us hope that Sin City can avoid the pitfalls of the trilogy non-trilogy sequels….and a lot of things blow-up.

Movie Soundtrack

To continue on this theme of musical soundtracks…I thought I would share the ideal soundtrack for my imaginary movie. Let’s say I were to have a movie script that was roughly 75 pages at this point, largely inspired by the following songs, here is what the soundtrack would look like:

‘Peace Like a River’ – Paul Simon
‘Winter’ – Joshua Radin
‘Forever it Tomorrow is Today’ – David Gray
‘She Talks to Angels’ – Black Crowes
‘Freelove’ – Depeche Mode
‘Round Here’ – Counting Crows
‘The Sun’ – Maroon 5
‘The Scientist’ – Coldplay
‘Cleopatra’ – Danny Schmidt
‘Tomorrow Tomorrow’ – Elliott Smith
‘Dimes’ – AJ Roach
‘Tainted Love’ – Softcell
‘Mistakes’ – wONKA bAR
‘King’s Crossing’ – Elliott Smith
‘Each Coming Night’ – Iron and Wine
‘Little Bit Brighter’ – AJ Roach
‘Let Down’ – Radiohead
‘Waltz #1’ – Elliott Smith

The songs may be dated, but so is the imaginary movie. I like to consider them timeless. What would your soundtrack be?

Top 25

So my last post got me thinking about how important music is in my life, like a soundtrack to a movie. In fact, life is like a movie, filled with a cast and characters, directors, scenes, acts, sets, and props. If you ever get a chance, imagine a scene playing out in front of you and a camera is filming it all…probably be better than any sitcom on TV today. Why do you think reality TV shows do so well? You know, besides the poorly written scripts and untrained actors. News outlets always focus on the stories that provide the best stories. American Idol somehow keeps getting viewers even on the verge of mockery.

So I’ve been going through my iPod, looking at different playlists I have created, checking out my top 25 most played songs, and, here’s something fun to do if you haven’t already, the oldest listened-to songs. If you are like me, there are a bunch of songs that are on my 40G iPod that I’ve never listened to completely, but if you sort by ‘Last Played’ you can scroll down to see which ones you listened to complete and when that occurred. Pretty interesting to see how long ago you listened to some of those songs. And music says a lot about a person, let me run down my top 25 most played (on this iPod, keep in mind) and make a few comments about why they are on there. Alright, maybe I’ll only comment on the top 10:

‘One Angry Dwarf and 200 Solemn Faces’ – Ben Folds Five
Opening track off of BFF’s Whatever and Ever Amen, this was my first Ben Folds album after a reference was made about them in a Counting Crows song of all places. I am pretty sure this would have been the first complete song I heard from BFF and it completely blew me away, and you will see repeat appearances by Ben Folds on this list. Probably the best live shows I have ever seen.

‘Coconut Skin’ – Damien Rice
I will be writing more on Damien Rice in the future, but for now, be prepared to see several songs by him from his new album 9 on this list. It has only been out a short time but has gotten constant repeat play on my iPod, excellent album top to bottom. I first heard this song off of a youtube video of a live performance and it is the ideal example of how much a singer and a guitar can speak volumes.

‘Every You Every Me’ – Placebo
I had the Cruel Intentions soundtrack lying around for years, not really sure why I even got it in the first place, but this song is worth the price and I rediscovered it while trying to find tunes to put on my work computer so that I wasn’t listening to the same thing I listen to every where else. (Wow, that was a long sentence) I don’t really recall the movie except that it was a poor remake of a good French movie, and it got a young Reese Witherspoon and Ryan Philippe together. Ever since hearing this song, I have been meaning to check out Placebo but only recently purchased their Sleeping With Ghosts album…which rocks. I must be making a turn to emo-rock now that I have also discovered Muse. Anyway, check out this song, and this band, if you get a chance.

‘Fair’ – Ben Folds Five
I’m not sure how this is on the list since the last time I listened to it was February of ’06, but another track off of Whatever and Ever Amen. This tune displays the true brilliance of the band, incorporating harmony vocals, a unique blend of the 3 piece ensemble (piano, bass, and drums) to produce a toe taping and up-beat (literally) lighthearted affair, all the while implementing a melancholy lyrical story that are the epitome of Ben Folds’ songs.

‘Son’s Gonna Rise’ – Citizen Cope & Santana
I’m not sure what it is about this song that makes it so intoxicating, but I’m leaning toward the wa-wa induced acoustic guitar rhythm. Not much in the way of lyrics but the Santana backing and dark bass line carries this tune to multiple replays.

‘Wolves’ – Josh Ritter
Wolves are a reoccurring theme for Ritter, I heard that in an interview so I know it is on purpose. The music is catchy, the lyrics relatable, and the album unbelievable. I’ve covered the works of Josh Ritter here, so to find out more, follow that link.

‘You’re All I Have’ – Snow Patrol
My one shameful entry of modern pop-rock balladeers. In my defense, they write some catchy tunes, using the staple guitar and drum beats that are time tested. Not much stands out lyrically or musically, but the driving beats and traditional song-writing is pulled off well in most of Snow Patrol’s songs. Listen to this one and you’ll see what I mean, and basically you’ll be listening to all their songs at one time.

‘Kate’ – Ben Folds Five
I warned you, another entry by BFF off of Whatever and Ever Amen. This tune follows the typical personal story-telling of Ben Folds. If you know anyone named Kate, you must play her this song, unless she’s the wife of a Hell’s Angel or something. The staccato piano beats sets the pace for this lively number and manages to a few “oh, la, la, las” in there. Dandelions, butterflies, and all those other things that make girls nice.

‘9 Crimes’ – Damien Rice
Damien Rice’s 9 album provides two versions of this opening track tune, both very different products of the same ingredients. The piano and female vocal opening of 9 Crimes is both beautiful and eerie, and sets the tone for the studio track that delves in personal conflict and regret. The acoustic (demo) version is the darker and heavier older brother of the former. Both are beautifully tragic and pull at the strings of your soul, like our next song…

‘Freezing Car’ – AJ Roach
AJ is a friend of a friend but I am not trying to be bias on this one. Roach’s second studio album, Revelations, is due out any time now and this song is quickly moving up my top 25. Roach’s unique knack of storytelling and Appalachian roots, transposed into big city life blends powerful vocals and poetic observational lyrics. Look for his album, go get his first album, Dogwood Winter, and check out his website here. You will not be disappointed.

One Step Up From Monkeys

So I have this play list that lasts exactly 30 minutes (for running purposes I made lists that last various lengths of time) anyway, I recently wronged someone I am very close to and it got me thinking about relationships. Somehow this play list fit exactly with the situation. Here’s how it felt to me.

“So why you gotta act like you know when you don’t know. Its ok if you don’t know everything.” - Ben Folds

This lyric should be heard by every man, boy, husband, and boyfriend in the world...or any celebrity who thinks they're the greatest thing to come down the road since the Model-T.

“Open your mouth just to talk me down. You’re sincere as any neon sign.” - AJ Roach

Why guys ever think they can talk their way out of anything is beyond me. It’s like we are 12 years-old permanently. Caught dead in the act like deer in headlights, we still try to play it off like we were giving CPR or a mammogram. “It wasn’t me. Hey, it wasn’t me.” Anyone who has listened to Eddie Murphy’s Raw knows what I’m talking about. So brilliant and timeless. If anything, in this modern-day, technological society we can get caught more easily. The technology has advanced, men have not. (I should say in self-defense this does not pertain to my situation, but after saying the above, I can see where you might think this is just another excuse) Regardless of the wrong, we still go to great lengths to avoid admittance of said wrong.

“I don’t care if it hurts. I wanna have control. I want a perfect body. I want a perfect soul.” - Radiohead

I’m a creep, you’re a creep, we are all creeps. Face it, for some reason we treat people like crap even when they don’t deserve it. This selfish society we live in. We are stuck on esthetics, superficial looks and popularity. We want to be in control of our environment. Disillusions, yes, but we still strive. Maybe one day we will learn that the environment controls us, not the other way around. Things happen that are out of our control and people get hurt. It is how we handle the hurt that makes us better people and realize that, in reality, we are not creeps.

“So much hate for the ones we love? Tell me, we both matter, don’t we?” - Placebo

A relationship brings out the extremes of emotions. If we hate then we must love. Without hate, then we are without feelings, including love and affection. Just as long as the latter far out weighs the former. Imagine a relations ship is one big teeter-tooter and that big, husky kid is love. Every once-in-a-while he’s gotta get something to eat, but don’t you worry, he’ll be back to try and launch that little scrawny kid of hate into the sand box 40 feet away.

“Maybe I aught to mention, it was never my intension to harm you our your kin” - David Gray

Seriously, I don’t think guys ever go into a relationship intending to screw someone over, we’re not that clever. In fact, I’m not sure if we ever know truly why we get involved in anything except contests that prove our being men. Maybe that’s the reason for anything we do.

“It’s a small crime, and I have no excuse. Is that alright with you?” - Damien Rice

I think it is our jobs as men to apologies for things we never knew we did, or didn’t, do. Don’t ask me why. Must be a combination of skull thickness, percentage of time distracted by anything else, and lack of any real intelligence. Sure, we can tell you the number, location, and marital status of every attractive girl within a 1000 foot radius of us at all times, but pick up on blatantly obvious signals and messages our significant other is throwing out there right in front of you? Must be genetic. Forgiveness seems to be as simple as an apology in some cases, and as complex as life changes that involve walking on your hands and sleeping under water in others. And it makes it that much more difficult when you are unsure how you have wronged or when. Relationships are complex and guys are not complex beings, kind of like water and oil – they don’t mix too good. But no matter what it takes, if a relationship is to end, must be honest and understand why. Spite is not a good reason, nor is “I need the free time now that pre-season is over”

“Where are we? What the hell is going on? Dust has only begun to form crop circles in the carpet.” - Imogen Heap

So that leaves us on the other side. Things are ok. Another situation faced, forged, and cleared. It will only make the relationship stronger. Perfection is an illusion and more situations will arise. We will learn from our past. With all our faults, we guys really aren’t that bad, are we? So ladies, please bear with us, one day we might surprise you. Just like the ecosystem we will adapt to global warming, if not, we’ll become extinct…like polar bears.

Not So Deep Thoughts III

- No offense to anyone in Gaza, but death by drowning in a sewage flood might be one of the worst ways to die. Not that any way is really all that good.
- I think I’m going to start walking around pretending to talk on my cell phone so that it looks like I’m popular…or at least mildly important.
- Are people really getting that bad at geography and becoming that lazy that we need cars to tell us where to go now? This is just the first step in the complete take over of the world by The Machines. Terminator? Matrix anyone? Those are just possible future documentaries.
- Would it be inappropriate and/or morbid to send an e-vite for your own funeral?
- I wonder what percentage of the world really gives a crap what happens to you.
- Anticipation is the best and worst feeling ever
- It is hard to hold your head up when you have no reason to
- “One day I’m going to grow wings – a chemical reaction.” Some days I wish Radiohead songs would come true.
- How many ways can you come up with to distract you mind from thoughts you don’t want to be thinking? (still not enough)
- Some things just can’t be avoided, like all the forces in the universe are tag teaming against you – and they are all on steroids.
- Boots in the summer? Times keep on achangin’.
- What’s the Russian word for “idiot” because I am sure it is exactly what I need to hear and probably sounds much more ruthless, scary, and appropriate than “idiot”
- Why does everything sound more creep when it is said by a monotone computer voice reading text.
- Anything made in the ‘70s just seems funny to me now: horror movies, TV shows, clothes….me. Fortunately they didn’t have hi-def TV or recording equipment…your children are going to hate you about 20 years from now.
- Anyone else worried that the girl in the Will Farrell landlord video is going to grow up to be just like Lindsey Lohan?
- Everyone is so impatient…most of you probably didn’t even make it to this thought (note to self, never embed links to funny videos on youtube, readers will never come back)
- Why do kids make everything seem so much more humorous?
- I’m sorry for everything I have done wrong to anyone I know.

Can't Make a Sound

Why I hate my job and other things that put me in the mood to listen to Elliott Smith. In a vain attempt to make myself the new dooce.com, sans the humorous literary commentary and edgy, put-it-all-on-the-table openness, let me just try relay to you the absurdity of my job. I am sure many of you can relate unless you work from home and never, ever, have to deal with stupid people. Right. So, now please join me in a collective scream at the top of your lungs to put you in the appropriate mood for the following diatribe on the fake plastic cubical life. Now let me preempt this by mentioning that I work at a technology helpdesk and I am happy to have a job that allows me to do many things other corporate type jobs do not allow, like access the internet [although that is kind of essential for this job], use a cell phone if need be, listen to music, and have flexible hours. But the pay is crappy so I guess it all works out. At least I have a job, albeit temporarily, but this is more a commentary for people who are stuck in jobs they would rather not be in…which I know is actually a smaller fraction than many people would believe. See, in America we have the fortunate opportunity to seek other employment if we are unhappy with our current one, given the right skill set and desire. I just happen to be in one of those transitional periods where I am trying to acquire the necessary skill set to move on to something I prefer better than this current situation…which is just about any other job.

Any given day begins with the blaring, earlier-than-the-Devil-wakes-up ungodly hour alarm that varies between pitch black and blinding sunlight throughout the course of the four seasons on Earth.

Step 1: Sleep walk to the shower while avoiding serious toe stubbing or forehead rapping, always a craps shoot on hot water availability, and stare blankly at the man you have become in the mirror wondering where the years went and why evolution hasn’t stopped your beard from growing so that you don’t have to shave at least once a week.

Step 2: Clothes. Inevitably whatever you wear will not be appropriate for whatever occasion or weather that will have to be faced that day. “I swear the weather said it would be sunny and 85 today.” And as you attempt to run in between the downpour raindrops to your car, you remember you have a meeting with the boss’ boss’ boss today: performance review. You know, the one after the one you got the comments about dressing more appropriately for work. And on that day you thought it was “wear your favorite character’s costume from Pirates of the Caribbean day” at work.

Step 3: The commute. For whatever reason, no matter what time you head to work, EVERYONE in your city/town is also heading to work at that time, and all of them are late for work. No matter how fast you drive, it is never fast enough so cars weave around you like you are one of those cones on the stunt driving courses you see in the car commercials because the late employee commuter is exactly the target market they envisioned when engineering that car.

Step 4: Find a parking spot. This may not pertain to everyone but anyone who works in a city or for a large university knows what I’m talking about. That fun musical chairs game like they have in that new VW, Kia, or Volvo commercial, except involving more fender-benders – not a very safe game to play kids. Don’t try it at home. Or your other option is to pay what amounts to higher rent to park your car than to live in your first apartment…and still have to walk a half mile to your desk.

Step 5: Get to your desk. Imagine it is the Middle Ages and you have been stripped naked, forced to run a gauntlet of whips and spits, mud and crud, and chains and rains. Except in the modern office it is each and every co-worker making a comment about getting caught in the rain, or something about the weather, or “how was your weekend?”, “Its Friday!” or “I can’t wait until the weekend, the week is going by sooooo slow”, that ridiculous minutiae that excels in wasting that precious life minutes at a time. It regurgitates that vomit you had been repressing since that Friday night binge you went on just to forget all that tedious bullshit in the first place.

Step 6: Start it up. Oh, flashbacks to corporate retreats and team building exercises to the Rolling Stones…the head’s still pounding, like a bad brain freeze. OK, now go through your mental checklist: caffeine – check, writing utensils – check, paper – check, phone login – check, deafening volume emitting headphones – check. Now, if the stars align just right, the planets make a straight line from the sun outward, and comet dust is sprinkled just in the right places then your computer will turn on, have internet connection, and the e-mail servers will be actually delivering messages.

Step 7: Work? Probably the high point of the day comes just before you start doing actual work, for a few short, brief minutes you check your personal e-mail, catch up on the late sports results, check your fantasy sports squads, get updates on world and local news events, and read those daily comics. Then it is all down hill from there - for the entire rest of your work day. And by the end, you finish lower than when you started, kind of like the stock market during a recession.

Step 8: Work. Don’t get too excited now. I know you are in your 8’ x 8’ cubicle surrounded by people who might actually want to do less work than you and the only windows you get to look at are provided by Bill Gates and expand to a whopping 19” at best, but please hold the enthusiasm – serious work needs to be accomplished. Alright, time to start taking a few calls…forgot your password? OK, no problem. Why? How am I supposed to know why you forgot your password? Maybe you should take out that stupid rod that’s impaled through your skull. Yes, that very thick skull. There, now isn’t that better? Oh, watch out! Oh no, I think you might have just been stabbed by the idiot stick. Yes, you need to use a number in your new password, see, exactly how it tells you there in the instructions on the screen in front of you. Thank you for call, look forward to talking to you in about 5 minutes when you forget what you set it to. Bu bye.

Step 9: Avoid work. Now is the time you seek out any and all possible avenues to avoid doing actual work. Use the bathroom, take a smoke break (even if you don’t smoke), walk around with papers in your hand and look really frustrated like you are trying to accomplish something really important or looking for someone to help you, this will send any and all running in the opposite direction. Check work e-mail even if you have read it all already, gives you a good excuse not to be answering phone calls. One hour later, answer another call just to keep a good appearance. Hello. Your computer’s not working you say? OK, what seems to be the problem? It is not working, hmm. You tried turning the monitor on and off? That’s good, that probably should have worked, yeah, definitely, good work. Now how about we actually try restarting the computer. Yes, that box looking thing on the floor. Yeah, it sure does take a while to load. What can be done to fix it? Besides removing the 18 IM applications that all load at start up? Yes, I understand, you gots to stay in touch with your peeps. Yeah. No, you probably should be trying to open that application while the computer is still booting, most likely why it takes even longer to open it. Oh, it is working now? Yeah, pretty amazing. Yes, it must be because you called the helpdesk, haha, never heard that one before, it always seems to work when you are talking to us, yes. Murphy’s law, yep, uhmm, yep. OK, bu bye.

Step 10: Lunch. Yes, that’s right, it is only lunch time.

Speaking of which, time for me to take a break. I should finish this on Monday and post the rest then. Appropriately on a Monday. You might see a different mood in that post, should be fun.

Blog Surfing

Blog surfing, or hopping, or spin the roulette wheel, watch the tiny ball bounce around in a circle to fall on…some random French blog. OK, one more time, place your bets…a 27 year old Chinese web designer. And needless to say, other more non-appropriate web sites have also been encountered. Maybe this blog roulette game isn’t the best way to pass one’s time trying to find good blogs.

Then again, sometimes you come across posts like this:

“I am a gangsta!I am a gangsta!Gansta drink milk.. Yummy.Gansta eat pies.. Yummy.Gansta say he's gangsta.. Yay.bah, ok..I got a new phone!!! WOoHOOOOO!!!!”

Now that is some informative, thought provoking, hard hitting blogging one comes to expect from the blog ‘verse. Honestly, I think a majority of the people who blog nowadays do it for no specific reason whatsoever. Venting, ranting, entertainment, personal statements, keep in touch with friends or make new ones. Some are themed with multiple contributors, some are aimed at specific people. Regardless, blogging is just another form of subversive communication that looks to undermine actual communication. The youth of our generation could presumably live an entire life only knowing and communicating with people online, with little need for real personal interaction. Pretty soon we’ll all just be meeting at virtual bars with our 2-D pictures floating around checking out other 2-D pictures before getting annoyed at the pictures who are dancing on top of the tables screaming the lyrics to some Gwen Stefani song. Oh, and dropping about an $80 tab. Nice. But hey, it will all work out when you save that money on the cab ride home and the 6 pizzas you order when you get there…for yourself because it just sounded like a reallllllyyy good idea. Best ever. You are a genius.

Sorry, back to blogging, and isn’t sort of paradoxical to be blogging about blogging? I should mention the small percentage of blogs that I have found thus far to be fairly entertaining – they’re like social glimpses into lives of people that have nothing to do with your life in any way, none, sort of like watching a reality TV show but with a bit more honesty and a lot less acting. Just in this session of Blog surfing:

http://darling247.blogspot.com/ (a vet with 190+ posts, long posts)
http://jekkababy.blogspot.com/ (aspiring Peace Corp member)
http://marisa-peek.blogspot.com/ (world traveler)
http://thedancingkids.blogspot.com/ (think of the traveling gnome)

But really, just like gambling, that ‘Next Blog>>’ link at the top using blogspot is about as addictive as, well, gambling…only without the fear of losing your entire life’s savings – although you never know in this day and age.

Andrew Bird and Martin Dosh - Imitosis

Slightly different version than the one found on his album, originally called "I" off a previous EP. This version is sort of a mix between the two versions.

MY LIST: May

May’s Artist of the Month: Andrew Bird

I first heard of Andrew Bird through the author of dooce.com who was able to get a chance to see Bird live in Utah. Since then, Andrew has made a splash on the music scene with his high energy shows and eclectic, “outside-of-the-box”, violin driven (I kid you not) tunes. I may be hopping on the bandwagon a little late on this one as most people had an opportunity to catch Bird either at Lollapalooza or Bonnaroo last year, or on David Letterman. I should note that my collection of Bird’s music only consists of his two most recent albums: The Mysterious Production of Eggs and Armchair Apocrypha. However I did catch on before Armchair was released so I was able to appreciate both albums separately.

Harking from Illinois, Bird brings the looping styles of Keller Williams with the instrument variety of a Sufjan Stevens and backed with toe-tapping hooks to mesh songs into catchy singles and swaying ballads. Bird using both a bow and plucking style for his main instrument, the violin, but is usually accompanied by guitars, xylophones, keyboards, his own whistling, and backing strings to match the diverse and poetic lyrics that fill out his baggy-clothed songs. Imploring more of a spoken word style of sings, Bird’s voice is clean but limited in range. However, it nestles nicely into the grander scope of each song creating an interwoven and flowing call and response between the vocals and supporting instruments. On other tunes, vocals and guitar are synced to harmonize and highlight lyrics before separating like railroad tracks at a train-yard before returning again to the main line. Please check out the youtube video I posted to get the full effect. [New Feature!]

Songs that will change your life: Imitosis, Not a Robot, but a Ghost
Other tracks that you must listen to: Fiery Crash, Fake Palindromes, A Nervous Tic Motion of the Head to the Left, Plasticities
Hidden tracks: Tables and Chairs, Heretics, Darkmatter

Virginia is for Scholars

Really, Virginia has some outstanding educational institutions, don't let the news outlets sway you in any way. But for some reason every time I read a caption like: "University fires president over drunken driving charges", my first reaction is now going to be: "What Virginia school this time?" Check it out for yourself...

http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/04/30/college.president.arrest.ap/index.html

Ray! Ray! UVa?

So I was doing my typical run through my frequently visited websites, checking out headlines on CNN and under the Education section, I see the following article title: “University apologizes for using slaves to build school.” Of course the first thought that immediately came to mind as I was clicking on the link to read the article…probably UVa. http://www.cnn.com/2007/EDUCATION/04/25/university.slavery.ap/index.html Yep. Hey, at least they are moving in the right direction and its only 2007!

Track and Feel

Let me tell you how good it feels to be back in the Track and Field environment. Think of your least favorite job….got it? Now, imagine the coldest day of your life….ok? Imagine every dream you have ever had of falling…you know those ones that jerk you awake in the middle of the night in a cold sweat? Alright, put them all together with being stung by a swarm of bees in the middle of an episode of American’s Next Top Idiot Who Isn’t Smarter than a 5th Grader but Thinks That By Singing on America Idol They Will Get Them On Real World/Road Rules Physical Challenge (good ol’ Double Dare). Now think of the exact opposite of all of that and you have what it feels to be back inside the oval.

Track is so familiar to me that it almost feels like yesterday I was fighting back the butterflies while warming up for my next race. Its like a second skin or a warm comforter, or being back in the house you grew up in and knowing every little creek made in the floorboards so you can make it from your room to the back door without making a sound. Yet this time it is different…almost better. I am coaching and not competing. Trust me, I miss the competing, but not everything that comes along with it. I see the anxiety of the faces of my runners and I am thankful for just being a coach – much less stress. Being out and around the track again just reminds me why I am going through all this other crap. This, and teaching, is what I believe I am meant to do, it is what I know best, and what will benefit me, and the future generation of runners mutually, the most. After spending afternoons outside in the sun and nature with mostly good natured and eager youth revolved around sport/running, I have no idea how I can spend my mornings answer phones in a windowless, florescent light aura cubical maze, vertigo inducing environment that drains any life or happiness you might have had prior to 8:00am. It will all be over soon enough and I can make this education/coaching thing a permanent gig.

Maroon and Orange and Blue

Thoughts from a UVa grad on recent, horrific events at Virginia Tech:

I would be remiss if I did not make some kind of commentary on the events that occurred on Monday. As many of you know or felt directly, the tragedy on the campus of Virginia Tech has affected everyone, not only here in the Commonwealth, but across the country and world. I don’t know why, but it hit home even more while I was watching the Spanish language cable station here in Richmond and they had a news story about one of the victims, whose father lives in Peru. Add that to the fact Gov. Kaine watched events unfold in his attempt to return from Tokyo and one can see the far reaching effects this has had into world communities. Everyone has gone through some kind of educational institution and felt safe and secure while attending classes or freely walking through buildings, libraries, lawns or drill fields. I can only hope that this feeling continues and that such events that happened on Monday and at Columbine are isolated. Millions of students, faculty, and staff members attend or work in thousands of educational institutions around the country everyday without incident, showing that the social structure is in place. Most people are good and caring, we can only hope that those who wish to do harm to themselves and/or others will be helped before acting on violent tendencies.

Being an aspiring educator, events that occur at schools and universities, no matter what scale, weigh heavy on my mind. Educational institutions are here to foster learning and promote intellectual interaction, but also aid in social maturing and diversity. When a small few shatter that environment of fostering…things like that should not happen. The victims were as diverse as the Virginia Tech community, coming from all backgrounds and locations. Dear friends of my mine attended Virginia Tech and I know feel deeply affected by the images and stories that flash everywhere you turn. And although the storied rivalry between Tech and UVa is well documented (and I still hope that this will not suppress the spirit of competition) the tragedy has been felt by Hokies and Cavaliers alike. I, for one, cannot escape what it must have been like to be in that engineering building or dorm. But I see hope in the efforts being made across all campuses in Virginia. The victims and their families are what matter…and things like that should not happen. On this day of remembrance we should not forget the victims, not only of this tragedy but those who are dying needlessly throughout the world – 9/11, The Tsunami, earthquakes, Iraqi civilians, and the daily victims of other murders and accidents…things like that should not happen.

As for the future, I can only hope that time will heal. Wounds do form and scars take their place as a constant reminder. We will not forget but will move on. Virginia Tech will be the constant, upstanding institution is has always been. The students, faculty, staff, and alumni will forge on with the grace and respect it has always had throughout this state and country. And I can say with confidence that when Tech is ready, the University of Virginia will be there to face them in the field, on the track, and in the arenas of sport with the respect and sportsmanship we have always had toward them.
Now I hope that I may return to my regularly schedule blogging of humor (or not so humorous), commentary and social observations that you have come to know.

Happy Slapping

So the French are considering a law to stop what they call “happy slapping.” It prohibits the filming and posting on the internet videos of real, actual violence, such as fights and police brutality. This type of law is worrisome for a few different reasons. First, France is not China, and China shouldn’t even be like China, so this type of move totalitarian effort by a governing body needn’t be taken lightly. I do not condone the use of violence and certainly frown upon the posting of it on the internet for humiliating purposes, but what it does is protects the rights of citizens and provides useful evidence for the public to make personal and informed judgments. Secondly, where does it end? If the government looks to control the information citizens see, hear, or can even talk about, then that’s like putting the car in reverse while going 65 on I-95. I’ve never tried it but I know we all have considered throwing that gear shift to that red ‘R’ while sitting in the passenger seat of our friend’s ’82 VW Rabbit and I can’t imagine it would be good for the transmission. It is the age old question of who is going to police the police. James Madison felt very strongly about a system of checks and balances and it should be citizens’ right to expose brutality by police or even other citizens in an effort to curtail unnecessary violence in the future. If the government can watch us with cameras, wire taps, and/or surveillance, then we should be able to do the same in the public realm. Lastly, restricting the posting of such videos on the un-policed internet is just another segment of the ongoing debate on internet regulation. As grey as an un-selectable link, the internet has become a virtual community without law or governance, but with all the dangers. Where do we draw the line between freedom/privacy and control/safety? By the time regulations are place by states or the national government, technology has changed and moved on.