How It's Changed

…And welcome back, I hope you enjoyed that brief commercial smell sensation, didn't that smell delicious? We are happy to be back, beaming directly into your cerebral cortex dnd do we have an exciting uplink for you today. In this segment we are going to delve into the world of ancient technological change. You see, back in homo sapiens sapien period, what they might call the late 20^th century, life was a bit “backwards” for our standards. Imagine a world where you had to use a handheld device to communicate with friends and family?!? And communication with their domesticated pets wasn’t even fathomable for them…haven’t times changed? Now let us examine some of the technology these early humans used in their daily lives…feel free to virtually manipulate these objects to really give you a feel for the clumsiness of their archaic lives. Just don’t do it while transporting as this may cause a fluctuation in your brainwaves resulting in distortion upon re-apparition. We do not want to see any transportation fatalities because of our distractive content. W8 & Concentr8

(cue cheesy 'musac' and warming voice-over)

Here we see one of the devices that “revolutionized” communication…if they only knew, right? They called this a Cellular Telephone, after a previous form, yet similar technology of wired communication. The “Cell Phone” as it became to be known as allowed humans to walk around freely in public whilst continuously communicating directly with an unknown individual on the other end…often times making said individual look like a huge douche-bag to anyone overhearing their very annoying and irrelevant conversations.

Next, let us mentally navigate to this rather large, cubed device, popular amongst these early humans for entertainment and distraction. They called it the “television,” and it operated in a most rudimentary way. The front panel of this cube would emit a patter of colors creating a two-dimensional image of dramatized tele-plays that this “civilization” would then watch for enjoyment. Yes, only two-dimensions! Imagine how much we are amused at only five dimensions, our ten must not have even been found in their futuristic fictional ‘tele-plays’…it is hard to fathom what life must have been like for these depraved souls. Our two-legged ancestors would sit for star-rotations on end, watching semi-humorous, vaguely scripted situational comedies, dramas, or athletic competitions to escape from their mundane, labor intensive sun-rotations.

Now, can you imagine leaving your domicile, and your means of travel is a four-wheeled vehicle that used naturally created, but limited supplied, combustible liquid which propelled gears to create acceleration? If they only knew, right? Maybe hundreds of thousands of these early humans could have lived instead of perishing in the final great war and this, mankind, could have survived the last great technological feat that ultimately lead to their doom…

the “gaming console.” Records show that the first and widely popular gaming device, one that allowed for interchangeable games, was known as the Atari. Later advances found better visual graphics and more comprehensive game play. In addition, any advancement resulted in the increase in average weight, laziness, and academic failure rates which we all know led to the eventual extinction of this once proud race of beings. It truly is an amazement how these gaming consoles, in conjunction with their two-dimensional displaying devices completely engrossed pre-adolescent, adolescent, and ultimately post-adolescent humans in interactive game-play, using such themes as war, auto-racing, mythical warriors, sports, and ironically, futuristic, post-apocalyptic hell-scapes.

How fortunate are we to live in a modern time of collective consciousness, a free existence, and a reality that is devoid of any need of a virtual state. Now be well my fellow siblings and remember to never forget the foibles of our ancestors, least we dare not repeat them.