Monday

Monday. The day when it all comes crashing down like shattering dishes. Hints of the weekend still lingering strongly in the brain only to be squelched violently, like a slap in the face, and the reminders of why most of us dislike our daily occupations: The Necessary Evil. Imagine your face being ripped off…slowly. Wait, don’t imagine that, that’s not a very pleasant thought now is it. No, no, not at all.

So I am here to turn the frown upside down…not really, you can do whatever you want, but if you are looking for something to do to beat back those Monday blues…or as it was so poetically referred to in the greatest occupation related movie ever, “a case of the Mondays.” I am far from being an optimist; I like to consider myself an optimist for everyone else. So, occasionally on these days we call Mondays, I’m going to find something humorous. A news report, a video clip, a website, a funny observation, and present them to you if you need to paint those blues yellow…then that would give you some kind of green day, not the band, maybe that’s where they got the name though.

For my inaugural prescription against the “Case of the Mondays,” I will fill your heart with two adrenaline needles of humor. First some optimism: So I hear that this planet is getting warmer, ice is melting, oceans are rising, skin cancer abundant. My first optimistic spin on this is brought to you by a comment I overheard recently…”well, the oceans aren’t going to rise because all that ice is displacing the water already.” Um…I’m not even going to try to explain the rationale behind that one, but hey, the oceans won’t rise as much right? Continuing – so it is well documented that people become more depressed during the cold, winter months. Well, with the globe warming there will be less depressed individuals enjoying those 70 degree Floridian days in North Dakota. Spontaneous combustion during the summer months? Resolved easily by constructing air conditioned walking tubes. Now, as for cities like New York, Washington, LA, San Diego, Norfolk, Miami, Charleston, Boston, Seattle, San Francisco being under water? Look at Venice and Amsterdam…they seem to manage. What’s that? New Orleans? If they were prepared, I’m sure they would have had a big ol’ Marti Gras, so instead of rollin’ around in tricked out SUVs, the urban elites will be cruising in actual cruise ships. Minnesota Vikings’ party ship…that was just a precursor to what fun can be had in Time Square or the Former South Beach.

My next dose of humor will navigate you to a video blog site honoring our most sacred of warriors…the ninja. http://askaninja.com/ contains all you ever wanted to know about how a ninja lives his life, how he conducts his daily rituals, and answers questions such as: What to get a ninja as a gift, ninja award shows (The Bloody’s), and can ninja fall in love. If a ninja can fall in love then so can us non-ninjas, yes, that means you too. So navigate your way to the plethora of advice from the ninja guru (culture clash phrase) found at ask-a-ninja, and let those hands of fury chop away the cement blocks of Monday blues. If you aren’t feeling better by tomorrow after this scribbled prescription then seek professional help.